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Growing girls isn't easy. I sincerely doubt anyone would challenge me on this. Try as we may to avoid gender stereotyping, I truly believe that certain attributes are hard-wired from birth - not socialized. And I also believe that many of those are related to a person's gender. Yes, of course there are exceptions. However, as a general rule, I think you will find that:

• Three year old boys are rowdier than three year old girls.
• Three year old girls tend to gravitate toward playing with other children more than their male peers of the same age. Boys stay a little longer in the parallel play years.
• Girls are more likely than their male counterparts to engage in a game of house or other role-play.

Oh, some of you may disagree with me on the notions above, and that's fine. They are, in fact, generalizations. And in the scheme of things, I'm not sure that they make a hill of beans of difference in the long run. Overall, we are raising our daughters to believe that they can do anything they put their minds to.

Our girls are intelligent, beautiful, delightful young ladies (if I do say so myself - and I do!). They excel in academics, sports, music and community outreach programs of various kinds. We encourage them to be as well-rounded as possible. As their mother, I try to set the example that they can do anything their male counterparts can do. I don't always do a great job of that. In fact, I fail miserably in some departments (electrical, plumbing, etc.). However, they know their aunt can fix anything if she puts her mind to it. My mind just doesn't seem to work that way...

They also receive encouragement from their dad (and me, as well) that they should continue to excel in math and science despite all the evidence that shows that girls grades drop off dramatically in these subjects beginning in about 6th grade. I first noticed our older daughter's reservations regarding appearing "too smart" in math when she told me a story about a boy in her class who had seen her math mid-term grade. His jaw dropped, and he exclaimed, "You're smart!" As parents, we looked on proudly. But to a pre-teen, that practically came as an insult. Anything that makes them different at that age can be perceived as a negative by a child.

Yes, all of these things make raising a girl difficult at times.

But the single most disturbing fact about raising our daughters vs. sons right now is that girls and young women are also more likely to fall prey to violence at the hands of their male counterparts.

Last weekend, a recent graduate of one of our local high schools was kidnapped in a broad daylight in a busy Target parking lot. You may have heard the story on the news. It was covered nationwide. Kelsey Smith was forced into her own vehicle, taken to a remote location, some 15 miles away, and strangled to death. Our local police had help from every city in our large metropolitan area. Signals from her cell phone were used to track where the thug may have taken her, and ultimately that is where her lifeless body was discovered. Our community banded together to help find this young woman, holding out hope that she would be found alive and well.

18 years old. Running errands in broad daylight at Target. She phoned home to say she was on her way home. She phoned her boyfriend to say she'd be at home in just a few minutes. She never made it.

Now, you could say that the story has ended on a somewhat positive note in that our police have the suspect under custody, and they've already brought him up under murder charges. But that won't bring Kelsey Smith back to her family and friends. And that won't change the horrifying fact that our girls will always be more at risk for this type of violence than their male counterparts. The girls and I are enrolling in a self-defense class. I'll be getting our younger daughter a cell phone. I'd been holding off, but now I just feel like that would be the safest thing for her when she's not with us.

Meanwhile, this young woman was 18. Yet still defenseless. Why was that? She ran track. She was physically fit. Why was it so easy for a 26 year old male to overpower her in a busy parking lot where, if she had screamed "911!" or "FIRE!", surely someone would have come to her aid?

I don't know, and I sure hope I never find out.