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Princess-ry is more than bling deep.

Posted June 16, 2009 by Mary Dixon Lebeau

Every time someone mentions that Libby is "such a little princess," I wince inside. I know what they mean, of course. They mean she's what they call a "girly girl" -- all pink tutus and fairy dust, part bangle, part bauble, and all bling bling bling.

And yes, Libby is a little princess. But I'd like to think that's true, even if she's wearing overalls and soccer cleats (which she seems to be turning to increasingly as she inches her way through kindergarten). In fact, I'm raising her to be a "princess" of sorts -- and I'm not ashamed to say that.

Oh, I know what you're thinking. Princesses have taken a bum rap in the press recently. I conceded that, at first glance, our favorite princesses seem to send out all the wrong messages. In the classic fairy tales, princesses have no ambition, no drive or spunk, no goals at all beyond keeping the house tidy while waiting for the prince to come rescue her. If she's valued at all, she's appreciated for her beauty. In fact, when you look at it this way, princesses are pretty interchangeable.

But, if you look beyond the formula A-B-C outline that seems to define fairy tale royalty, you may find there are lessons -- real, valuable lessons -- to be learned from our favorite princesses. You have to look beyond the tiara and the bling to find the personality and the individuality, of course. But each princess has something to teach us -- and the lessons are valuable for our daughters to learn. For example:

• Cinderella -- Sure, she was a bit forgetful and lost a shoe. (What little girl hasn't?) But Cinderella also knew the value of hard work and cheerfully helped her stepsisters, even when they criticized her efforts and made fun of her. And let's face it -- having a ball gown turn back into rags is enough to make a girl learn to keep track of her time! A smart princess is always home by curfew.
  
• Jasmine -- Okay, so maybe she isn't the best role model for modest dress. Still, this Sultan's daughter is fiercely independent and won't buy into the arranged marriage her father wanted. Jasmine teaches girls to challenge the old ways and make a life for themselves -- even if it means following your heart beyond the palace walls. She has the distinction of being the first Disney princess to marry a guy who isn't a prince. If only she'd wear a turtleneck once in a while!
  
• Snow White -- She was "the fairest in the land" -- but look how far that got her! No, Snow White's true beauty was inner -- and it showed through the way she cared for the forest animals and embraced her life with the dwarves (who were certainly a bit different than those she knew from the palace). Kids can also learn from Snow White's mistakes, too. If the original Disney princess hadn't chatted up a stranger (the old hag), she never would have bitten that poison apple. Like Grumpy told her, don't open the door for nobody. Lesson learned.
  
• Mulan -- Okay, this is an easy one. Girls can kick butt, too!
  
• Belle -- I saved the best for last. Belle was a studious outcast who rebelled against the village that only appreciated her for her beauty. When the other girls were fawning over that muscle-brained Gaston, Belle was escaping with a good book. She was fiercely loyal to her father, even when he proved a bit kooky. Most of all, she was open to the idea that beauty is more than skin deep -- and true love is not based on appearances.

When we read her favorite princess stories, Libby and I discuss more than just fashion and fantasy. We talk about the value of hard work, the importance of reading, and the meaning of following your heart. These are the true lessons of the princesses, the lessons that I hope remain in my child long after her tiara tarnishes and the fairy dust fades.