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Georgia (SB 123) and New Hampshire (SB 78) are two states that are currently considering legislation to make it possible for parents to have a say as to whether their twin and multiple children should be in the same classrooms.  Minnesota and other states already have laws like these ones, and other states are also considering similar legislation.

As a teacher, I've taught a number of sets of twins.  Usually I've had them in separate classrooms, but I've also taught twins together.  One thing I have learned is that each set of twins is different, and there are no general rules that apply to twins as a group; yet many teachers I've known, in an earnest hope for the independent development of each child, advocate for twins to be separated in school as a rule.

But as a parent, I know that twins develop their identities and independence differently than singletons, and I completely support the rights of parents to have a voice in the decision about whether their kids should be in separate classrooms or not.  Twins and multiples have a unique bond, and their development and identity is related to this special relationship.  It might be a positive, nurturing bond; it might be a competitive bond; it might even be a detrimental bond.  Who knows?  Every set is unique, which is why parents need to be a part of the decision-making process each year.

Early this spring, my husband and I went to an admissions event for an area school, and the teachers, unaware that twins were coming, separated our three-year-old girls for the play session.  I spoke to one of the teachers, who seemed annoyed that I even asked about the situation, and she said to me that the girls would be separated if they came to that school anyway.  Even though I know that research and twin experts do not support this position, I decided not to make a big deal of it in all the hub-bub of the event.  I knew then that this was not the right school for us.

Recently, I've spoken to sets of twins in the school where I teach, and most of them were in the same preschool and Kindergarten classes together, and then they were separated at different times as they got older.  They all said that this worked fine for them.

Our girls are going to a new preschool in the fall, and I called to ask the director about her philosophy regarding twins and multiples in the same classroom.  One year, she explained, she had seven sets of multiples in the preschool, so she took a class about educating multiples.  (How amazing is that?)  Her philosophy is that there should be a good home-school connection and a discussion about what is best for the children. She said that each year involves a fresh look at each child's growth and development and at what would be good for them that school year.  At her school, twins and multiples are usually together through preschool and then separated by Kinder, but she said that the school has done it all different ways, depending on a number of factors.

She said to me, "I get the sense that you would like your girls to be in the same classroom next year."

I still can't believe how fast I got choked up when I realized that I had found the perfect school for my kids.