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At a book signing this weekend, I decided to put out a bunch of cupcakes and an assortment of candies and sprinkles and such so that store patrons could decorate their own. Some who stopped by gave me their cupcake stories and shared favorite recipes, telling me about different flavors they enjoy or how a child of theirs had inspired a particular design.

But one woman clearly felt out of sync. "I'm just so baking challenged. I'd love to whip up a batch of cupcakes and invite the kids over for a birthday party where they could decorate to their collective hearts' content. I'm just not that... talented." This was such a point of inner conflict for her. And while I can always make a case for homemade cupcakes, no one should feel the pressure or guilt of having to accomplish that feat... particularly if it induces stress rather than joy.

I told her a compromise was quickly at hand. Many grocery stores are amenable to selling cupcakes plain, with no frosting, just the baked goods. Or, I told her, she could order cupcakes that were frosted with white or chocolate buttercream, but had no decorations. Then, prepare the party for a decorating frenzy. Load up clear glasses or shallow bowls with chocolate candies, gummies, sprinkles, non-pareils, red hots, mini-marshmallows, even alphabet cereal, and invite the partygoers to be creative, coming up with their own design of a flower, name, clown face... or whatever their fancy might be.

That way, I told the cupcake-fraught mom, she'll look creative and talented... and every partygoer will also feel the same.

The woman smiled, her relief palpable:  "O.K., that I can do!"