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A friend instant-messaged me earlier this week. "Jess, who is watching your kids Friday night," he asked.

"The best babysitter in the world," I replied. She really is: she is totally engaged with the kids when she's here, they respect her and behave for her, she doesn't let them make big messes, she puts them to bed on time, and she leaves our house cleaner than it was when she got there. Oh, and she won't accept more than $6 per hour. Like I said, the best babysitter in the world - and no, you can't have her phone number!

"Well, can she watch my kids, too?" my friend wanted to know.

Uh, yeah - she's done that for us before. She can handle four kids at once - even though one of my friend's kids is diabetic and requires blood sugar monitoring and insulin injections.

But then, yesterday, another friend said, "Are you going to the party Friday? We want to go, but we don't have a babysitter...do you have your regular girl?"

Hmm. Yet another adult couple with children on the lookout for babysitting. This thing where my friends and I are trying to be young and have fun is contagious! But to share the babysitter again would mean leaving one 17-year-old with six kids. I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

And then, ANOTHER friend let me know she might want to go out Friday night, too - but would want to bring her kids over to my house with the rest of them. That would mean eight kids with one babysitter. And no matter how fabulous she is, one babysitter shouldn't have to care for eight kids at once.

So I called my sitter and said, "Got friends?"

Fortunately, she does!

So tomorrow night, a whole bunch of 30-something adults are going to party like it's 1999...and leave all the kids at my house with a couple of teenagers. And I'm so fortunate to not be worried one bit.

Okay, so I guess I should share my secret - how I found her!

I have a friend who is a school teacher - elementary school. My sitter was her best student years ago, and they kept in touch.

Teachers know who the best-behaved, most-likely-to-succeed are - they're excellent identifiers of responsible kids who will grow up to become great babysitters.

But then, once you identify them, you still need to test them out. Here's what I did. I hired the sitter to watch the kids while I was home, hosting a casual dinner party for adults. I figured the cleanliness of the playroom and how frequently the children came downstairs would be good indicators of the quality of the babysitter.

I've actually done this with every kid I've ever used. Some have never been asked back; others are for when-I'm-home only. Those gems, like my regular sitter, who (along with a friend) will watch eight children tomorrow - are rare.

And I'm totally serious about never giving out her phone number. Because honestly, her work for us isn't just about caring for the kids. It's about allowing the adults to be young, have fun, hang with our friends, and be people who are full of life. For me, it helps keep my marriage exciting - we don't just co-parent and pay bills, we play together like we did when we didn't have the kind of responsibilities we have now.

So thank goodness for excellent babysitters - I wish them on all families!