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Recently, a friend confided in me that she was considering plastic surgery. She felt ashamed that she was even considering it. It made me remember what it felt like when, four years ago, I made the same decision.

I struggled with how vain it felt; my mother said things to me like, "You could feed hundreds of starving children in Africa with that money!" And yet, it wasn't a decision I was taking lightly. I did consider how I could spend the money to improve the world, or save for my children's college, or even something as frivolous - but perhaps more worthwhile - as a family vacation.

There were months between my initial consultation with the doctor and my surgery date. Months in which I tortured myself with thoughts about why couldn't I just be happy the way I was, and months of being embarrassed that I would be the kind of person to cut up the body I was given and make it something else.

But prior to those months, there were years of desire for this surgery (and no, it's my little secret, so I'm not sharing the specifics). I justified it in my head by saying I was correcting a birth defect, fixing something that was broken about me - but in the end, I admit to a significant degree, it did come down to vanity.

I think in general, diet, exercise, healthy eating, and a positive outlook on life are great ways to change our physical appearances. How many really warm, wonderful people do you know who aren't traditionally beautiful on the outside, but their inner beauty just shines through? And yet, for one thing, any inner beauty of mine just wasn't enough. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my body, and it impacted the way I carried myself - my self-confidence and my attitude in life.

Now, four years after my surgery, I rarely think about the so-called birth defect that haunted me for my whole life until then. It's a non-issue. And yet, the impact the surgery and subsequent changes to my body - changes I could not have achieved without the surgery - have been huge. I almost feel like a new person - without this defect to plague me, I can just be me and not be trying to hide inside my clothes.

I don't really think about the vanity or the other things I could have spent the money on, either. I am happy with my contribution to society in general - both financially and in time and energy. And I've got a plan for my children's college education (not that the amount I spent on plastic surgery would even make a dent in tuition by the time my kids get there!).

So I told my friend not to be embarrassed. It may not be the right decision for her - or for anyone else - but it is a valid decision. It's okay to want to be physically comfortable with ourselves. And it can dramatically change areas of our lives that we never expected. I'm much more comfortable with who I am - now that there's a little something unnatural about me.