Mom, did you ever smoke?
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The Boy came home from camp this week with this proclamation: "Mom, there's a kid at camp, and he says he's going to smoke cigarettes when he grows up."
Inside, I'm thinking, Really? REALLY? Is it time to have this kind of conversation? After all, The Boy is only 7. But I have to answer regardless, so I start out casual. "Oh really? What did you say to him when he said that?"
"Well, I asked him why, and he said because it's cool. Mom, did you ever smoke?"
Is honesty the best policy? The trouble with being put on the spot is that there's no time to consider what the right answer is - you just answer. So I say, "Well, yes, I have tried cigarettes before. But I didn't like it."
His next question, though, was, "Well, are you going to die?"
I explained that while cigarettes will damage your lungs and make it hard to breathe and exercise and possibly poison your body, trying it once is not very likely to kill you.
"Didn't Grandma and Papa smoke? Are they going to die from it?"
I told him the answer was complicated: since they had quit years ago, they were probably okay now. But to remain okay, it's important for them - and everyone else - to stay away from cigarette smoke.
He seemed to accept that answer, but then wanted to discuss whether smoking actually was cool.
"Why do people smoke, Mom? Does it taste good?"
I asked him if he ever smelled cigarette smoke, and what he thought. He told me it didn't smell good to him, and he wasn't sure whether people looked cool smoking.
"Well, who is cool that you know? Name some people." He did. "Do any of them smoke?" (Since no one we know smokes, I knew this was a pretty safe question.) "Well, no."
"And what about the kid who wants to smoke when he grows up? Do you think HE is cool?" I asked.
The Boy thought for a moment, and said, "Mom, no. Actually, I think he's stupid."
I was about to reprimand him for the name-calling, and then I remembered our rule: the only time he can say a person is stupid is if they ride a bicycle without a helmet. I said, "You know, a kid who wants to smoke when he grows up - that's like saying he wants to die when he grows up. And that is pretty stupid."
Later this week, I asked The Boy what happened the next time he talked to the kid who wants to smoke. Did that kid bring it up again, I wondered?
"Yeah, he did talk about it again. But me and all the other kids just said, 'That's so dumb,' and we walked away."
Crisis averted.
(Unfortunately for me, he also asked where babies come from...and I haven't chosen to answer that one yet. I need to ease into these big-question conversations!!!)
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Mom, did you ever smoke?
About Me
Formerly the last kid picked for kickball, I'm now a marathoner, triathlete, avid cyclist and size-six mother who struggles daily with weight and eating right -- while working full-time in software development and supporting my husband's fledgling small business.
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