What Would Other Moms Do?

Posted August 31, 2010

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Posted Tuesday August 31, 2010 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

How many times have you been asked to conjure up your "most embarrassing Mommy moment"? If you're anything like me, that question triggers a blank stare and equally unresponsive memory. Why is it so hard to come up with even one when you've got seemingly millions of red-faced experiences?

This past weekend, one mom (let's say, "a friend") was pretty much guaranteed she'd never forget her embarrassing moment when she and her family attended a classmate's birthday party that went terribly, terribly wrong.

My friend had just arrived to a morning swim party at the local aquatic center, a beach-entry pool equipped with spray & play area and water slides. Her 3-year-old wasted no time waiting for adult supervision and hopped right in as mom and dad quickly followed behind into the water. As swiftly as she had gotten in, she took in a mouthful of water, prompting her to make those will-she-or-won't-she gagging noises that can silence a room full of people. Her mom wasn't about to wait to find out and scooped her up in her arms and began briskly walking her out of the water and directly to the public restroom.

By the time they got there, they were both covered in vomit, courtesy of pool water, a big breakfast and an unapproved pre-party snack. Mom peeled both of their suits off, washed Little Miss in the sink and attempted to clean herself up as much as one can with scratchy paper towels and 23 attempts at 3-second blasts of cold-water from the sink. After about ten minutes, they exited the public restroom, mom feeling pretty darn proud that she caught the worst of it and sacrificed herself for the sake of the party, saving pool-goers from a vomiting preschooler.

And then she saw it.

Vomit Patrol was swarming the pool. How did they know? Didn't I (oops, I mean she) catch the worst of it in the shelf bra of her swimsuit? A quick scan of the premises and it was quickly discovered that five, expensive private parties were stopped short, kids and adults not pleased that they were yanked out of the pool. Party guests were whining and crying, begging to be allowed back in the polluted pool. Lifeguards ran about, doubling as contamination specialists, trading in their Baywatch gear for Hazmat suits. They huddled and pulled out equipment reminiscent of the CDA in Monsters Inc., hustling to handle the aftermath of a monster touched by a human child.

The mom quietly walked back over to the party area, just in time to overhear the birthday boy's mom profusely apologizing to guests while simultaneously trying to satisfy the demands coming from the gaggle of squawking preschoolers. Wow, no one had realized that it was her daughter who was responsible for clearing the pool and stopping down the festivities? Could she really get away with keeping quiet? My friend, still catching an occasional wafting stench from the vomit in her hair, stood there silent, completely torn between 'fessing up and running for the car. She decided to wait it out and see how things would go.

30 minutes later, the kids and adults were allowed back in the water and the party resumed. In no time, the kids were focused on splashing and swimming and parents were too busy to continue speculating whose kid had temporarily brought down the event. Crisis averted, no reason to spill the beans, right?

Sure, until my friend was handed free future aquatic center passes for her "inconvenience," making her feel like she, too, was about to hurl.

Tell me: What would you have done? Do you subscribe to honesty is the best policy? Or would you keep it to yourself arguing that taking blame wouldn't benefit anyone?

Jackie Morgan MacDougall is a TV-executive turned parenting blogger who lives a crazy life with her husband and three small kids. Her dreams of climbing the corporate ladder have been replaced by the dream of one day having a nap.

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