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Posted Friday, February 11, 2011 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

If you're looking for one of those posts that create a working vs. stay-at-home mom battle, keep looking. Because I'm not interested in sparking a war over personal decisions. What I do want to do is shed some light on the challenges of both and maybe create an understanding that can translate into the world of mom relationships.

Today, it's all about the working moms.

I work from home -- it makes me kind of a hybrid. It's the best and worst of both worlds, making me feel like I am juggling 24/7, simultaneously navigating my professional life while catching up on never-ending household responsibilities.

If you've never tried to hold your own on a conference call while a tantruming preschooler flips out over the perfect shade of purple socks... or you've never used a broken crayon on a legal document, you just haven't lived.

But I am definitely not complaining. While my schedule includes often working into the wee hours after the kids are in bed, or at the quiet hour of 5:00 am, the flexibility of working freelance from home actually allows me to go grocery shopping mid-day (like when I forget that my in-laws are on their way), volunteer at school every week and even get my hair colored before those silver "highlights" get too crazy.

Which is definitely not the case when I worked outside of the home. While we like to think employers have evolved, you wouldn't believe the hurdles working parents are forced to jump through, just to keep a job.

Snow days If you have never pulled an all-nighter, preparing for a huge presentation, only to discover that the mere threat of snow (and not actual flakes) has caused school closures, consider yourself lucky. This winter, inclement weather has forced schools across the country to be canceled so often, many haven't had a full week of classes since well before the holidays. A snow day here and there is one thing but I don't know any boss who would tolerate childcare issues six times over a two month period. For those who say, "Just get a sitter," please tell me where one can get someone reliable and trustworthy who's willing to commit to watching the kids on an occasional, last-minute basis.

Sick days It's the call working moms fear, "You need to pick up your child." She has no idea when it will come and what the problem will be, but she knows it's coming. Walking out of the office mid-meeting can be uncomfortable, but the daggers she gets from judgmental staff and parents is worse.

"How could she send her sick kid to school?"

Do you really think a mom would intentionally subject her child to misery, and knowingly infest the rest of the class with cooties? Determining whether your child is trying to pull one over on you or foreseeing how quickly the sniffles can turn into the flu, often leaves mom between a rock and a hard place.

Studies Nope, I'm not talking homework or pop quizzes. I'm referring to those ever-constant research studies that get blasted all over the morning news shows, pointing the finger at working moms for screwing up their kids one way or another. This week, apparently, working moms are leading to overweight kids. Studying the BMI (body mass index) of 900 children, researchers discovered that those with a working mom gain an extra pound for every six months she's employed.

In a country where 71% of mothers work, what are we supposed to do with that?

Here's a novel idea. How about we actually try to supporting each other? It's bad enough that the economy and many employers have created a cutthroat work environment, leaving some parents terrified to even admit they have kids. In fact, I recently did a job for a company that secretly frowned upon hiring mothers... even though their product was actually marketed to moms. I'm not saying employees should be allowed to skate by, just because they have children at home. I'm saying that companies could benefit from opening their minds to job shares, flex hours and working from home -- all proven to increase productivity.

In fact, in a survey of over 500 women seeking flexible work arrangements, 64 percent of the women either quit their jobs (or planned to), due to lack of flexibility, with 59 percent of them admitting they never even asked their employers for a change in schedule because they assumed they'd be denied or looked down upon.

I was one of those moms with the nerve to inquire about workplace flexibility. Not only was the idea shot down, I noticed an increase of awareness over every minute I was in the office after that. Again, this was at a place who marketed a product to MOMS.

The attitude toward working moms is that much more interesting when you considering the "momumental" impact working moms have made on the world. Without them, we wouldn't have some of the most incredible advancements in science, healthcare, women's rights and more, making life better for all moms, not just the ones with a job.

Top 10 Powerful Working Moms

Marie Curie: How many moms of little ones win a Nobel Peace Prize before tucking the kids into bed? Now imagine doing it all on your own after your husband is unexpectedly killed. The first to recognize radiation as a treatment for cancer, working mom Marie Curie has helped millions of people live long enough to see their own children grow up.

Eleanor Roosevelt: It was Eleanor's work with the Women's Trade Union League that resulted in more humane work hours, minimum wage and the abolition of child labor.

Stephenie Meyer The stay-at-home mom of three bridged the gap between girls and their moms, by creating the Twilight series of books. Her young, buff, shirtless characters are responsible for connecting ladies of all ages in a bonding, slightly-disturbing way.

Wilma Rudolph: Born prematurely into a family of 24 kids, Wilma overcame polio to become the fastest woman in the world, as well as serve as a civil and women's rights pioneer.

Sandra Day O'Connor The first female member of the Supreme Court of the United States broke barriers for women, empowering them to stop dumbing themselves down and actually embrace the power in their intelligence.

Marion Donovan: With two small children, she invented the disposable diaper. Now if we could find an invention to get the Diaper Genie to empty itself.

Judy Blume Without her (and God-loving Margaret), I don't think I would've survived puberty. Thanks, Judy.

Bette Nesmith Graham We all make mistakes. But Bette helped us fix 'em quickly when she invented liquid paper. She was also one of only four women to ever give birth to a Monkee (her son Mike was the knit-cap-sportin' singer/song writer of the popular group, The Monkees.)

Dr. Ruth She opened the door for couples everywhere, making it OK to communicate about sex. With a 50% divorce rate, imagine how high it would be without the help of the cute old lady with the thick accent.

Geraldine Ferraro: No matter where you lean politically, Geraldine will always make history as the first woman as a major-party national nominee -- nope, it wasn't Sarah Palin. But even before that, she was making an impact through her work at the Special Victims Bureau, dealing with sex crimes, child abuse, and domestic violence. In Congress, she pushed for legislation that would bring equality for women in the workforce; through wages, pensions, and retirement plans.

Mother Theresa: Ok, so not technically a mom but Mama T was said to have worked with 610 missions in 123 countries, treating those with with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis, feeding the hungry, helping families and supporting educational needs.

Who would you nominate as a powerful working mom?


Jackie Morgan MacDougall is a TV-executive turned parenting blogger who lives a crazy life with her husband and three small kids. Her dreams of climbing the corporate ladder have been replaced by the dream of one day having a nap. You can find more of her musings at The Silver Whining.

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