Should Your Daughter See Twilight?

Posted December 04, 2008

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Edward and Bella: Will they or won't they? (Photo Courtesy of Summit Entertainment)

Posted December 4, 2008 by Shannon Riggs

Since the 2005 publication of Stephanie Meyer's bestseller about a high school junior who falls in love with the vampire in her science class, parents have struggled with whether to allow their daughters to join the Twilight craze. And the debate has grown even more heated with the Nov. 21 release of the movie version, which made $70.6 million just in its first weekend.

This being a vampire flick, some might expect parental apprehension to be about the violence.

But instead, sex is what has parents on the fence. A major theme is the "Will they or won't they?" premarital sex question. To her credit, Meyers serves up this age-old question with a couple of twists. It's Bella who wants to have sex, and Edward, the teen vampire, who shows more restraint. Of course, this makes Bella want him even more.

I have always considered myself an enlightened parent when it comes to sex ed. (Check out this Dream Team column, Tackling the Talk. Don't I sound enlightened?) Reading the Twilight books and seeing the movie with my daughter, however, stretched even this enlightened mom out of her comfort zone. Discussing sexuality in theory is one thing, but reading a steamy novel or watching a movie in which the teenage girl can't wait to get it on with her vampire boyfriend -- well, that's another. Saying yes to Twilight meant I would have to move beyond talking the talk. I would have to walk the walk.

At 13, I thought my daughter was mature enough. I decided to forge ahead with one caveat: I'd read the books along with her. Meyer's writing helped. The details are steamy, but not salacious. As a reader, I appreciated that she kept the passion high, but as a mom, I appreciated that she kept the graphic details to a minimum. And, as I turned the pages, I reminded myself that I wasn't letting my daughter have a relationship with a hunky vampire -- I was just letting her read about one.

Spoiler Alert: With each new book in the series, Meyer did push the envelope further. For those just embarking on the Twilight adventure, take note. In Breaking Dawn, Bella and Edward finally do have sex -- after falling in love, sustaining a mutually respectful relationship, and committing to each other in marriage.

Twilight may make me squirm as a mom, but I love the stories just as much as my daughter does-for how we've shared them and for how entertaining they are. We've spent hours chatting about what we thought of Bella risking so much for love, and what Edward's sparkly vampire skin might look like in person. I wouldn't bring a child under 11 to see the movie, and I'd restrict access to Breaking Dawn, the final and sexiest novel in the series, until age 13, but in our family, the debate over Twilight is over. The only thing left to deliberate as we re-read the novels is which side we root for, Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Shannon Riggs is the mom of two (usually) great kids.

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