Pay It Forward: The Challenge

Posted September 09, 2010

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Posted Thursday September 9, 2010 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

It was a tough week. I had a flu/strep throat combo that kicked my butt and forced me to rearrange carpool, postpone important meetings and cancel previously-scheduled play dates, leaving my kids stir-crazy and frustrated. My daughter was also sick and my house was a wreck, with laundry taking on a life of its own and dirty dishes piling up on the counter (no longer fitting in the sink). I couldn't even make dinner, never mind actually meet a deadline. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and needed a sign that it would all be ok... or at least a life preserver.

Then I saw it.

The envelope sat in my mailbox like many had before, with just a name -- no address -- evidence it had been dropped in and not actually mailed. I grabbed it along with the rest and tore it open as I walked up the driveway. Was it an invitation to something in the neighborhood? Maybe pictures from a recent party that someone dropped off? I didn't give it much thought. But then I opened it. Inside, it said...

"Jackie takes care of everyone! Time to take care of Jackie!"

As I read the words, it was like time stood still. Could it be there's someone out there who understands? Does she know about my never-ending list of things to do? My unpaid bills? Can she relate to the chaos that accompanies my feeble attempt at being a good working mom? Tears immediately filled my eyes. There was someone out there who "got" me.

Then I noticed another envelope inside. I used my thin, broken nails to slice the top, giving me enough of an opening to peek inside. There, with my name written in black ink at the top, was a gift certificate for a pedicure. I swear I heard my chipped toes giggle with excitement! But I couldn't but feel confused, wondering "why me?" I mean, come on, isn't every mom's life jam-packed with constant insanity? Am I such a mess that this person thought I, above all others, could use this generous pick-me-up?

And who is this anonymous do-gooder, making such a kind, thoughtful, supportive gesture without sharing her identity (at least I assumed it was a "her")? My mind began to race, quickly making a list of possible benefactors. What I found most interesting while I stood in my kitchen wracking my brain, was that I wasn't puzzled over which of my girlfriends is that generous (I'm so lucky in the friend category, it could have been one of many), it's that I just couldn't figure out who would do it without adding her name to the card.

It made me wonder: how many of us could go above and beyond for someone else and be ok with not getting the credit?

Stop and think, could you really make such a gesture without any acknowledgment? If you're immediate reaction is "no," don't feel bad, you're not alone. Sure, some I queried said they often do kind things and never need or want anything in return, but others were quite comfortable admitting that one of the main reasons to do something nice is to let the recipient know you care and value their friendship, something that can't be done anonymously.

Whether it's out loud or in private, my experience with the secret Santa was a great motivator. In fact, I felt so good during the days that followed that surprise in my mailbox that I noticed myself not just wanting, but needing to pay it forward as much as I could. And you know what happened? The more of myself I gave, the more I noticed it coming right back, not necessarily in gifts and grand gestures, but little random acts of kindness that can enhance an ordinary day. (Here's a special shout out to the woman at Toys R Us who moved shopping carts when she saw I was trying to pull into a parking space!)

I never did find out who was responsible for the generosity that day (I'm pretty sure she lied when I asked her). But I hope she's reading this and knows that not only did she give me the gift of pretty nails, she inspired me to pass on her message and pay it forward, something I hope I can inspire in those who read this.

What will you do to pay it forward?

Jackie Morgan MacDougall is a TV-executive turned parenting blogger who lives a crazy life with her husband and three small kids. Her dreams of climbing the corporate ladder have been replaced by the dream of one day having a nap.

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Pay It Forward: The Challenge

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j_bdean says:

September 17, 2010

Oh, and one other thing. I still try to do this sort of thing and never expect something in return. I buy gifts because I think the person might like it and not because the calendar says "I have to." It always makes me feel so good to see the look on someone's face when they get a "just because I thought of you" gift that it's really the only reward I need. Always think of the other person first, because there are millions of people to think of you first! Now, everyone ... just go and DO IT!! ;)

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j_bdean says:

September 17, 2010

Excellent story and I hope it plants the "giving" seed in a lot of people's hearts. I remember, many years back, when I worked at a customer service call center, I got a call from a woman that was crying on the phone. Her account was past due and she was going overdrawn and incurring OD fees trying to play catch-up. Although I couldn't do anything to really help her other than reverse a fee, I broke the company rules by noting her address. I then sent her a $20 in the mail with no return and just a note saying that I knew it wasn't much, but I hoped it would help. I have no idea if it did help but I know that it must have felt good to have a "fairy godmother" send her something with the intention of trying to ease her load. If we all could think this way and not try to hurt others, get over on the System and just generally thik of "me, me, me," this world would be a MUCH better place. :D

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TamijoySisemore says:

September 12, 2010

Great article! I hope you enjoyed your pedicure! Sounds Amaazing! Paying if forward really does make YOU and the person you did something for feel amazing!

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Pay It Forward: The Challenge

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