Ladies, Stash the Cash!

Posted March 12, 2010

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Posted Friday March 12, 2010 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

When we get married, it is often poetically referred to as joining two hearts into one life. But after years of stress, kids and meddling in-laws, could it be the actual secret to marital bliss has nothing to do with two hearts and more about two bank accounts?

Let's look first as the odds our marriages will end in happily ever after. According to Divorcerate.org:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

(Although I have to ask, how many of us are making that mistake a third time?)

We all know divorce can mess up a family emotionally. But where does it leave mom financially - especially those who forego the paycheck and stay at home? I've had enough friends split and suffer through nasty proceedings to know that anyone who expects to sit pretty on an alimony and child support check is often sadly mistaken. Take my friend Alicia for example (of course not her real name, I said I was a friend remember?). Her husband was adamant that she stay home with the kids. Now they've split and she's freaked out that she can't keep up with the bills. Forget the incredible educational background she's got, how easy is it for a mom who hasn't worked in years to jump back into the workforce and juggle life as a single mom?

Being blindsided could never happen to you, right?

Liz, married 43 years before she and her husband split, says don't be so sure. In fact, it's because "you never know what life's going to bring you and you will need your own funds," that she suggests all moms -- including her 39-year-old daughter Kimmy -- "stash the cash" and protect themselves. While Kimmy agrees with her mom, her hubby is in on the plan. "He wants me to have my own stash if I want to go to the spa or go buy those shoes. Eventually, when I get paid through my business, I will be stashing that."

Where should you stash? That all depends. In my house, the perfect place to hide funds would be places like the laundry room or where the mop is - God knows my husband would never find it there! But before you go slipping thousands into a fake can of beer, be smart. You don't want to keep too much in the house and lose it in case of theft, fire or another unforeseen circumstance. A savings account or CD might be a better place, depending on how much you are looking to stockpile.

OK, so there are some of us who have perfect partners and absolutely can't imagine heading to divorce court one day (love you, honey!). But it's not just divorce that can take a mom's world and shake it like a snow globe. More men are losing jobs than women worldwide and it's mom who is often left to pick up the pieces.

Patti Handy, money coach and author of How to Ditch Your Allowance and Be Richer Than Your Parents, says "Survey after survey shows that the top need for most women is 'security'. Part of that security comes in the form of financial stability and knowing they are prepared. It is imperative that all women, married or not, be financially savvy and empowered with the knowledge of how to handle their finances. With that said, having a 'stash of cash', in addition to their emergency fund, short term savings and long term savings, is a great idea. We just never know what surprise may be around the corner and having that stash brings us a sense of security."

Plus, wouldn't it be nice to actually have a few bucks under the mattress for those emergencies like manicures and purses?

Just sayin'.

Jackie Morgan MacDougall is a TV-executive turned parenting blogger who lives a crazy life with her husband and three small kids. Her dreams of climbing the corporate ladder have been replaced by the dream of one day having a nap.

Related Articles on Family.com:

Raising Money-Wise Kids

How Much Should Kids Know About Family Finances

What You Need to Know Financially if You're Facing a Divorce

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Ladies, Stash the Cash!

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mommeof9 says:

March 18, 2010

It never hurts to keep some money aside. It doesn't have to be for divorce. Your life can take an unexpected turn at any time. Just think of it as a form of security. It is money that you don't need to count on, but it is there for an emergency. You never know what life is going to throw at you, and being a little prepared will only be an advantage. Just think, if you are fortunate enough not to get a divorce, you can always have that stash set aside and use it for a 25th anniversary get away for you and your hubby! And didn't your mom always give you some pin money, "just in case". So don't get so hung up on the reason to set money aside, just know that it could come in handy for any reason and always remember the Boy Scout motto and know that it is always good to "be prepared".

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stschopp says:

March 17, 2010

Wow, well I also believe that marriage is forever too, but you never know what the future will hold and for the sake of yourself and your kids I absolutely agree that it is a great idea for us stay at home moms to ensure that we can provide for our children. The fact that the bible says marriage is forever may b a fact, but another fact is that over 60% of marriages DO end in divorse and It is a great idea to educate women on how to prepare for the worst.I know too many women who have put thier lives on hold because they are single mothers and most of the time not by choice and they are struggling, while the father is off with his new kidless girlfriend . I am lucky enough to have a wonderful husband of over 7 years and he is a wonderful father but I already have a seperate bank account for my personal money I earn. My husband knows about it ofcourse and is happy that he doesn't have to pay for my pedicures anymore lol

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NEALGRAY4 says:

March 17, 2010

I believe this is a load of crap! Personally I think that when you get married it is forever NO MATTER WHAT - TILL DEATH DO US PART. Try reading the Bible and see what it has to say about this. There are only 2 reasons for divorce - Being un-faithful, or abuse...EVERYTHING else is able to be worked out...it just shows how many people are NOT willing to work things out and call it quits right off the bat. I mean have you heard of some of the reasons for divorce these days? I mean FOR REAL!

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