Is Your Teen Talking About Sex Online?

Posted January 07, 2009

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Sex, drugs, and violence are hot topics for teens online. (Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

Posted January 8, 2009 by Kimberly A. Brehm

"Mom, check out what I made on the computer," Ally said proudly as she admired her efforts. "It looks really cool." I sure didn't feel cool as I glanced at the screen. In fact, my body temperature quickly turned up a few degrees as I realized my 12-year-old had just made a profile on MySpace.com, complete with personal photos, names and lists of her likes and dislikes.

This didn't seem like a good idea at all, especially after I read a story about a new study that found 54% of teens on MySpace talk about inappropriate behaviors and topics such as sex, alcohol and violence. I didn't want my child reading about that stuff at her impressionable age. And the study didn't even include my more pressing concerns about my preteen giving out personal information that could lead someone wishing to harm her an easy trail to our front door. She had included her nickname, our hometown, and her after-school activities. There was even a picture of her soccer team posted! She might as well have left a trail of breadcrumbs for any 'stranger danger' with ill intentions looking for his next victim.

I could think of a million reasons why posting this information on the social networking giant was not a good idea. But before I panicked and made her erase her page, I decided to do some research. I figured if millions of tweens and teens have made MySpace one of the most popular Web sites on the Internet, maybe I was overreacting.

Turns out, there are ways to make sites such as MySpace and Facebook safer for your children. "Make sure your kid's profile is always set on private," said Naperville Det. Chuck Baker, who investigates Internet crime involving teens. "This means your kid must give permission to anyone wishing to become a 'friend' and look at their profile. This is the only way to make sure no stranger can access personal information." I also needed to make sure Ally didn't include her last name, any phone numbers, away messages or pictures that showed her wearing any identifiable clothing, like school or team shirts. Such clothing makes it too easy for someone to figure out where she lives, he said.

Most importantly, I made my own profile and became 'friends' with my tween so I have access to her profile to make sure she is following my non-negotiable rules. I realize these steps aren't a foolproof way to keep people from hurting my child, but they have gone a long way to make me feel like we're making the Internet as safe as possible for her to use to communicate with friends.

When she's not at the office or catching a few much-needed hours of sleep, newspaper editor and mom Kim Brehm lives in her SUV toting Brittany, 15; Alyssa, 14; and Trevor, 8 to and from schools, soccer games, cheer competitions and band practices.

Your turn: Do you think social networking sites are safe for your child?

Read more about online safety for kids:

Common Sense Tips for Keeping Kids Safe Online