Is Posting Kid Pics Online Safe?

Posted October 29, 2009

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Posted October, 29, 2009 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

There are some parenting debates that will never go out of style. Spanking, breastfeeding, and public or private school are just a few hot-button topics that can make even the most sane parents get a little nutty.

Now here we are, smack-dab-in-the-middle of the age of Facebook, Twitter and blogging. While they're useful and helpful online tools, they're also responsible for the latest battle. Don't believe me? Just ask a group of parents if it's OK to post pictures of kids online and you'll see.

Not only has the New York Times recently taken on this topic, it's one I find myself debating all the time with myself. I have a blog. I write about my family and our life. Sometimes I include pictures of my kids. (How else can I embarrass them regularly?) But am I putting them in danger by sharing photos? Should I pull the whole thing down and lock up my kids? Or is it an overblown fear created by those parents who do everything but bubble-wrap their kids, all in the name of protection?

I'm careful never to post anything that identifies them too much, no school logos or names, street signs or landmarks near our home.

But is that enough?

Internet safety specialist, Lori Getz says "it really depends on whether you're Ok with that picture splashed on a billboard, magazine, or newspaper."

Huh?

Lori says people constantly use images they don't own to promote their own business or interest that they just pull off the Web. I know it's happened more than once to friends of mine. It's strange enough to see your wife in a weight loss ad without permission, but to see your family photo falsely representing an online dating success story? That's just creepy.

Others argue that predators can target kids they find online. Lori says that's true... and false. "There are terrible people out there. But predators don't see a photo online and come to their home and take that child. What happens is that the predators can groom kids, using personal information they saw along with the photo (name, location, interests, etc) to connect with a child. It makes a kid more willing to talk to someone if that person seems to know him. Parents need to use common sense, not sharing identifying information along with the photos."

Before you think 'I don't have a blog, this doesn't apply to me,' think again. Millions of parents put family photos, even those bathtub shots (which I could go on and on about), online all the time. Picasa, Kodak, Shutterfly... great places to upload, share, and order copies of pics, but are they safe? And what about Facebook, a popular place for showing off the munchkins? Lori says it's fine to post pics, but moms and dads should follow some simple rules.

1.   Check privacy settings. On Facebook, I click the option to only share photos with friends, and not groups I belong to or friends of friends. If I don't know them, they can't see them.
2.   Untag your name on kid photos. Search engines constantly crawl the Internet, looking for sites and images. If your child is tagged with your name, their photo could come up if someone were to do a Google search for your name.
3.   On photo sharing sites, keep your photo albums unlisted -- only invite people you know.
4.   Use your discretion. Photos posted should be appropriate, showing everyone in them in a positive light. They should be something you would be proud to share. There have been more times than we even know about when an employer or college finds a photo and denies a person based on what they're doing in the picture. (It mostly happens with the younger crowd, but I think we all know an adult who goes a bit overboard.)

Lori adds it's important to remember that nothing is 100% private. We don't own these sites. We're borrowing their service and their rules can change anytime and confidentiality online can't be guaranteed.

Then there's the debate of posting someone else's kid online. Want to end a friendship with the click of a mouse? That's how you do it. I've seen moms get into it big time after one put birthday shots up on Facebook, not considering all of the other parents who may not be so free with posting photos of their kids.

I know on my blog, I would never, ever, ever post a picture of a child (or adult, for that matter) without permission. Lori says she sees the scenario a lot, "You may have one paranoid parent who thinks any picture of her kid online makes him a target, that a predator will come steal them out of home and she'll never see them again. Then you have another mom, snapping away and uploading on Facebook. It all comes down to courtesy - plain and simple. Ask permission and give that person the opportunity to decline. And don't tag them in the photo unless they say it's Ok."

Remember, the online world is the same as the physical world -- use your noggin'. If it feels wrong, it probably is.

Jackie Morgan MacDougall, on the never-ending quest for balance, enjoys life in Los Angeles with her husband, Jeff, and their three small kids. Read more of her take on parenting, kids and everything else on The Silver Whining.