I'm Having a Work Affair and Why You Should Too

Posted February 25, 2011

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Have you ever been around one of those couples who bicker and brawl like life is in an episode of Real Housewives, except actually real? They scream and yell, hurl insults and top off most arguments with an obscenity like it's a cherry on a hot fudge sundae. Maybe you're even part of a couple like that.

Well, I have a secret. I was totally half of one of those couples waaay back in my early dating days. It was a constant cycle of chaos, making up and then building back up to chaos.

But that's not me anymore. While I'd like to say it's all because I've grown up and mellowed out, I really can't take the credit for my ability to fight fair. In conjunction with the fact that my husband is the most mild-mannered dude out there, I'd have to say it's because we treat our marriage like a business partnership -- at least most of the time. You see, we actually started our relationship after being friends for four years, two of them working long hours side by side in a tiny edit room. It was there we discovered each other's communication styles, learned to face difficult challenges and realized we wanted to bring our work relationship out of that windowless room into the sunshine.

We stopped working together just before our first son was born almost seven years ago. During those years, it became increasingly easier to slip into bad habits, forgetting the rules of a happy workplace and making it up as we went along. But recently, we've added to our resume' of life and renewed our work vows by taking on a project that requires creative collaboration, long hours and careful juggling of business and family. It's been a perfect reminder of why we got together in the first place and how well we act as a team.

But what may work for us, isn't for everyone. You don't actually need to merge your professional lives to benefit, you just need to treat your partner (at the very least) as well as you would a co-worker.

6 Tips for Turning a Relationship into a Partnership

• Fight Fair How many times have you seen co-workers fly off the handle and slam doors? Sure, we have disagreements in the workplace, but we also work hard at keeping emotions in check and our heads on straight.

• Don't take it so personally Your business partner forgets to complete a task before an important meeting. Is it a problem? Sure it is. But you don't stand around accusing them of doing it on purpose or not caring enough about you to get it done. Giving your personal partner the same benefit of the doubt can help you both find a solution without all the added drama.

• Make a plan It's rare that we work day after day without some sort of strategy in place. Give your relationship that same attention, using a to-do list or calendar for those things that are important to you. Do you want him to plan the next date night? Discuss it and get it on the calendar in advance with all the needed information. You wouldn't expect an colleague to remember every meeting and event -- why do we expect it from our significant other?

• Hold regular status meetings Grab a cup of coffee together while the kids are playing, or get up 30 minutes early to get some time alone. Finding just a few minutes to talk about what's going on in your family's busy life is often all you need to create a connection that will carry you through the day.

• Encourage breaks All work and no play makes all of us not just dull, but exhausted. Getting time off alone is a perfect way to recharge and revitalize. If most jobs offer a lunch break and at least a few minutes to decompress during the work day, why should we have to go 24/7?

• Use the Web to network Facebook, Twitter, even texting can each help a business grow in it's own unique way. Why not use them to help grow your interest in each other, too? A sassy text or private message could be just what you need to create a productive meeting later.

Use these tips and you just might be surprised how quickly you get a raise and promotion. Good luck!

Jackie Morgan MacDougall is a TV-executive turned parenting blogger who lives a crazy life with her husband and three small kids. Her dreams of climbing the corporate ladder have been replaced by the dream of one day having a nap. You can find more of her musings at The Silver Whining.

Related Articles on Family.com:

Top 10 Powerful Working Moms

Is It Ever Okay to Have an Affair?

The Secret to Happy Working Moms

Five Secrets to Fighting Well

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I'm Having a Work Affair and Why You Should Too

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I'm Having a Work Affair and Why You Should Too

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