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Posted Friday November 5, 2010 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

"I barely have time to shower."

Every 45 seconds, a mom in America utters those words (a statistic I made up). We're busy, we're stressed, we have to do everything for everybody; constantly feeling like we can't keep up. But if we're struggling so much, don't you ever wonder, "How the heck did our moms do it?"

She cooked, she cleaned, and she often raised a family while working outside the home. Yet she always made things happen; she could sew on a popped button in less than a minute, was always prepared for unexpected guests and could fix any problem with an encouraging word. But like good customer service and the art of shopping, mom has been replaced by the Internet.

Just think about it. Mom used to be the go-to guru for everything. She knew what was wrong with the baby as soon as she heard the cry, gave spot-on relationship advice and could diagnose a stomach ailment over the telephone.

But these days, her phone hardly rings. Her role in the daily lives of self-sufficient grown children (not including those who sleep on her couch or still need help with laundry) has often dwindled; replaced with parenting, recipe and health sites, message boards and social networks.

Has the Internet Replaced Mom?

Let's take a look...

Parenting Little one is up all night with a cry you don't recognize. Do you call mom? Most women I polled admit they Google the symptoms, log on to a parenting site or ask their online friends (who never seem to be sleeping themselves).

Food Trying to remember Grandma's Crockpot beef stew recipe? Eh, what's a family tradition when, instead, you can just spend five minutes searching the Web for a concoction that's close enough? And unlike Grandma's version, the online one can be tweaked to your family's dietary needs; skipping the sodium for your spouse's high blood pressure or even discovering a gluten-free formula for your wheat-sensitive son.

Health Oh no! Am I coming down with a cold or suffering from perimenopausal hot flashes? Dealing with food poisoning or a possible gall bladder attack? Don't bother mom... just do a quick symptom check at Web MD and in seconds, your spouse is off to the pharmacy for Echinacea or antacids.

Relationships There's such a range of marital advice online that by the time you actually read it all, you'll be celebrating your silver wedding anniversary. For every therapist that boasts the answer to a great union, there are five programs that tell you therapy is actually the problem and they can unlock the secret to wedded bliss. But eventually, you may find advice that speaks to you (or a replacement husband on the thousands of dating sites you stumble across in the process).

Today, we can get everything we need all in one place -- the computer. Yet when I asked around, almost all admitted that it's not just the information that mom provides, it's her unique and colorful commentary, drawn from her vast personal experience, that keeps 'em coming back for more. Donna shares, "I love my mom's perspective on life in general. I call her during dire times and during good times for her "take" on things. She helps me see all the sides of things so that I understand that no bad is all bad and even good days can have a dark side. Her philosophy is it is what it is, you might as well live it and enjoy it the best you can."

Here, a few gems from mom, provided by their daughters...

Analiza's mom: Be nice to your kids, because one day when they're all grown up they choose what nursing home you go to.

Lauren's mom: You can't change the way people are, you can only change the way you react to them.

Liz's mom: "If you marry for money it will be the hardest buck you ever earn."

Wendy's mom: "Never have sex on an empty bladder."

Brenda's mom: "If your marriage is in trouble -- get help. If you broke your leg, you'd go to a doctor, right?"

Julie's mom: "Keep his stomach full and his [bleep] empty, and he will keep coming home."

Denise's mom: "Treat others the way you want to be treated."

Michelle's mom: "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all..." (Michelle adds, "Unfortunately I don't always listen!")

Melissa's mom: "Don't sleep with the whole football team." (Parting words as she left for college)

Lisa's mom: "Listen and read and you'll learn a lot."

Janice's mom: "Always wear nice undergarments."

Donna's mom: Never put anything in writing you wouldn't want seen on the front page of a newspaper.

Sue's mom: "Treat everyone with kindness and respect; everyone has a story."

What's the best advice you've ever gotten from Mom?


Jackie Morgan MacDougall is a TV-executive turned parenting blogger who lives a crazy life with her husband and three small kids. Her dreams of climbing the corporate ladder have been replaced by the dream of one day having a nap. You can find more of her musings at The Silver Whining.

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