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Is it just me or does the media always seem to be looking for a new way to flash the spotlight on moms, often turning a news story into an epidemic, creating fear and judgment among us?

The latest breaking news: Moms who drink are bad, bad, bad!

Of course you can't help but think (and talk) about it after a tragedy like the one involving 36-year-old mom Diane Schuler. Her drinking and pot smoking killed her, her daughter, three nieces and three men in another car when she crashed after driving the wrong way down the Taconic State Parkway. The story has created a firestorm in reports concerned with moms' consumption of alcohol. From the New York Times and Time Magazine to mom bloggers, everyone's asking the question: Should moms quit drinking?

Call me crazy, but the way I see it, Diane Schuler was an addict - a very, very sick mom. Can you imagine for a second putting your kids in danger like that? I bet there was a time she couldn't either. But she did it. Her addiction took over and she lost everything. Many people lost everything that night.

But pouring yourself a glass of wine or sharing a beer with your partner after a long day is not the same thing. And we shouldn't point fingers at people saying it is.

• Back in the '70s, Mom muttered "Calgon, take me away" as she sunk into a hot bubble bath -- innocent enough, right? The tub was representative of getting away from it all. But let's be honest, what mom ever has the time or energy to actually draw a bath (Oh, that's after having to clean it first, adding another thing to her list). What if one mom started spending every waking second sitting in the bath, neglecting her kids just to get a few more minutes of lathering up? Or one mom made the news because she was so relaxed in the bath that her child was endangered? Would that make every mom who enjoys a bath suddenly a bath addict? I know it's a silly analogy but my point is, let's look at this realistically. A drink here and there isn't the problem - addiction is.

But how do you know if you are addicted (or headed there)? According to FamilyDoctor.org, there are clear ways to recognize problem drinking. First and foremost, if you're a woman who has more than seven drinks per week or more than three drinks per occasion, you are definitely drinking too much.

You're taking risks with alcohol if you:

    * Drink and drive, operate machinery or mix alcohol with medicine (over-the-counter and prescription medicine)

* Are pregnant or are trying to become pregnant and drink at all (even small amounts of alcohol may hurt an unborn child)

    * Drink alcohol while you are looking after small children

Drinking alcohol has become a problem for if you:

    * Can't stop drinking once you start

    * Have tried to stop drinking for a week or so but only quit for a few days

    * Fail to do what you should at work or at home because of drinking

    * Feel guilty after drinking

    * Find other people make comments to you about your drinking

    * Can't remember what happened while you were drinking

    * Have hurt someone else as a result of your drinking

If you fit into one of these categories, reach out to your doctor for advice, treatment or a referral.

Like everything else, moderation is the key. Our behaviors directly influence our kids and I certainly don't want to teach my kids that drinking is no big deal. I don't reach for a drink before a PTA meeting or at the end of everyday, but in my house, stopping for a few minutes to enjoy my husband's company over a beverage is something we enjoy - how we connect. Oftentimes it's the coffee pot I head for to supply our daily libation.

But you know what, sometimes it's the wine bottle. And I'm OK with that.

Jackie Morgan MacDougall, on the never-ending quest for balance, enjoys life in Los Angeles with her husband, Jeff, and their three small kids. Read more of her take on parenting, kids and everything else on The Silver Whining.

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