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Posted July 9, 2009 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

Turn on one of the network morning news shows after 8 a.m., and it's likely you'll chance upon a mom talking about her newest project. It seems for more and more women these days, the moment motherhood - or even pregnancy -- begins, so does the business. From burp cloths to baby carriers, swaddlers to snack cups... "mompreneurs" crop up with groundbreaking inventions right around the same time their baby's head begins to crown.

Walk into the parenting section at your local bookstore and you'll be bombarded with titles depicting self-deprecating, motherhood-isnt'-what-I -expected "honest" accounts of childrearing. It seems the days of moms turning to Drs. Spock and Sears have been replaced with those bad-mom, martinis-on-playdate types, kind of like Erma Bombeck on prescription meds.

The latest guilty pleasure for moms? Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman. The woman infamous for admitting - via The New York Times - that she loves her husband more than her children, is now sure to tick off a whole new crop of mothers through her honest (yet arguably selfish) approach to raising kids.

I'm the first to admit that I'm intrigued, if not a bit envious, of all the moms who've taken their first love - children - and somehow found a way to make a living just by sharing their experiences and first-hand knowledge. I've been known to spend evenings online following their exploits, getting sucked into funny, honest and entertaining mom blogs. I've even picked up a book here and there, usually convincing my husband it's for "research" purposes. But when I asked "real" moms around the country (AKA those who don't work in entertainment or media) if they, too, were spending money and time on the latest and greatest mom-created projects, I got a few of blank stares and could've sworn I actually heard crickets. I had to laugh when one mom answered "I like Parenthood. That movie still sums it all up for me."

It's not that moms everywhere don't want real information or to be entertained. They do. But for many, the extent of their Web surfing consists of checking email and using Google to search for answers related to health, development and behavior. For some moms, a rare moment in which they can actually find the time to read is spent getting through the stack of dust-collecting parenting magazines that have been piling up month-after-month. But in reality, most skip reading altogether and head for the nearest pillow for 10 minutes.

Joie, a mother of three boys doesn't get caught up in the parenting advice du jour. "With three, you either did it right with the first two and you don't need help, or you royally screwed up the other two so why not include the third?"

For Cari, the lack of parenting books on her shelf is less about lack of time and more about survival. "No books. They either make me feel guilty or anxious, and I don't need either of those."

But others admit that the humor and learning potential in today's abundance of parenting books are part of their day-to-day. Christine, mom of two, devours the funny mom stories, both in the library and online via blogs, and grandma Donna not only reads them avidly but gives them as gifts to her own children and their spouses.

 "Babies don't come with an instruction manual and they don't stay babies. As soon as you learn something about a stage of life...they grow into something new. I used to "read ahead" to be prepared for what might be coming. Not all advice is good or applies to your child, but reading what others have experienced or learned reminds you that things are ever-changing and you need to adjust your parenting to keep up!"

One interesting thing I found from talking with those in the "mom biz" and those who aren't is a huge gap in perception vs. reality. There's an impression that those who capitalize on motherhood are living a life filled with daily pedicures and a staff of nannies, and most moms can't relate to that unattainable lifestyle. While millions of working moms struggle to make it on time to parent/teacher conferences and soccer games, the moms pushing their projects on morning shows and on mom sites are seen as living a life of that ever-elusive balance and flexibility, something everyday moms struggle with.

I recently sat down with Romi Lassally, author of True Mom Confessions: Real Moms Get Real who dispelled the myth, admitting that for every TV appearance and book signing is a 60-hour work week and the lack of that year-round steady paycheck. "After working for two years on an Internet start-up (very solitary without much external validation) it was exciting to be in the spotlight for awhile. But the reality was that the press sold books and raised awareness, but it's still really challenging to bootstrap an Internet business in the current economic climate. There's a big disconnect between what people see - "oh congratulations on all your success!" --  and what's on my balance sheet."

And here I thought the grass was greener at the homes with hired gardeners.

Whether you're a teacher in Massachusetts, a stay-at-home mom in Ohio, or are writing your second novel in Malibu, you're a mom first and foremost. And we all have more in common than we even realize. The struggle for quality time with the kids, getting 5,001 things done simultaneously, and finding 30 seconds to use the bathroom alone is universal. We all do our best, we all make mistakes, let's take comfort knowing we're all in this together.

Jackie Morgan MacDougall, on the never-ending quest for balance, enjoys life in Los Angeles with her husband, Jeff, and their three small kids. For more of Jackie's parenting observations, visit The Silver Whining.