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From the Hip

Real moms take on real issues

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Time-Saving Tips for Multi-Tasking Moms

Posted May 21, 2009
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Whether you work in an office or at home, raising kids is hard work.

Posted Thursday, May 21, 2009 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

Picture this: You're in a perfectly nice conversation with another mom. The two of you click,  maybe even laugh a bit, she seems like someone you'd like to spend more time with.

Then the dreaded question hits.

Do you work?

It seems like a simple and innocent inquiry. But don't be fooled! Oftentimes, it's laced with judgment, competition and a smugness that will knock you right out of your pair of last year's sandals if you're not careful. That's because, for some reason, working and stay-at-home moms alike use the other as the example of the wrong choice. Do we, as moms, feel that strongly about another mom's decision? There's got to be more to it.

Putting labels on moms seems to be the latest trend in being politically correct, too. Remember when moms were just moms, regardless of what they did all day? Now, referring to a mom with a job as a "working mom" could get you a scolding by an insulted mom who stays home with the kids, arguing that they work as well. These days it's tough to keep up with all the different types of moms -- there are work-at-home moms, job-sharing moms, moms who volunteer full-time - it's exhausting! No matter what you call them, they're creating a mommy war that's messier than a 1-year-old digging into his first birthday cake.

For me, when it comes to the battle of working vs. stay-at-home moms, I'm the one sitting on the sidelines not sure where I belong. You see, I'm a "mommy war" misfit - not interested in working full-time yet not home with the kids 24/7 either. While my position can feel awkward and even lonely when chatting with other moms at a school function, I think it gives me a bit of insight into what's happening around us. And I would love to provide all moms with a bit of advice.

Knock it off!

Seriously, ladies - we are ALL working our tails off, doing what we can to create happy families. And we can all use tips to make life run a bit more smoothly, couldn't we? While her new book, Working Mom's 411: How to Manage Kids, Career & Home is marketed to those with jobs, author Michelle LaRowe provides ALL moms some great tips to getting it all done.

Some of LaRowe's suggestions:

• Prep necessary school items the night before.
• Invest in a crockpot and designated cookbook.
• Devise a system for getting tasks done.
• Do tasks on assigned days of the week.

Not necessarily ground breaking material, but certainly good reminders of the baby steps we can take to get organized. Personally, my favorites are her suggestions for carving out time for romance, making sure to be social with friends, and remembering what matters most. Because those are definitely things that make me feel balanced, which in turn, makes me a better mom.

And don't we all have the same goal here?

The biggest complaint I get from mom friends - both with jobs and without - is that balance, prioritizing and time management are next to impossible. And until they add that eighth day to the week - that is happening, right? - the only way we can get through it is to support each other. So next time your "working" friend is devastated she can't be there to volunteer at the school, why not offer to help her out by taking pictures of her child. Or when your  "stay-at-home" friend hasn't stopped for a second to shower, let alone tweeze those caterpillar-channeling eyebrows, why don't you suggest you both leave the kids with Daddy and hit the salon - together.

Moms are moms, stretched too thin and stressed more than ever. Let's do what we can to end the mommy wars and start to create one united Mom Nation. You in?

Jackie Morgan MacDougall, on the never-ending quest for balance, enjoys life in Los Angeles with her husband, Jeff, and their three small kids.

Related articles on Family.com:

Careers with Confidence: 6 Steps to Getting Back to Work

Every Mother is a Working Mother

Working from Home

Stay-at-Home vs Working Moms

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Time-Saving Tips for Multi-Tasking Moms

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