Before You Make Your New Year's Resolution...

Posted December 24, 2009

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Posted Thursday, December 24, 2009 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

If you've read any of my previous posts, you may have noticed that I tend to put a ton of pressure on myself. Every night, I actually consider the day I just had and grade myself on whether I made it count and seized the moment (oh yes, I do).

Did I keep my cool? Did I engage with the kids? Did I actually cook a meal that can't be found on a kids' menu? Did I push myself physically and mentally? Was I productive?

Oftentimes, those questions leave me feeling defeated and disappointed in myself. Who could possibly accomplish that every day?

But there's one time of year the rest of the country jumps on board with me, filling themselves with judgment, self-doubt and the obsessive desire to kick a little butt. (Hooray!)

It's the long-dreaded New Year's resolution.

How many times have you stood with a glass of champagne, promising yourself that THIS is the year you'll get it together (often waking up with a hangover and no memory of your new self-commitment). Whether you're following the old standards of losing weight, digging out of debt, getting organized or quitting that nasty habit... we all have the best of intentions, coupled with the shoddiest of education and support to back up our goals.

Recent resolution research results- say that five times fast - by Quirkology.com, who tracked 3000 resolution-making participants, show that while 52% of participants were feeling good about succeeding when it comes to resolutions, only 12% actually achieved their goals. And men and women each had their own secret to success...

• Men rocked their goals 22% more often when they set small measurable goals (drop a pound a week, instead of making a general "lose weight" statement)

• Women succeeded 10% more when they shared their goals openly with friends, garnering support from others.

Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People [Free Press] says it's important to start small. "Choose something small you can start doing now that will help you achieve a bigger goal or resolution. For example, if your goal is to get healthy or lose weight , you can decide to wake up a little earlier to organize your day to allow some exercise or decide to drink more water during the day and cut out unhealthy drinks. The main thing is to make a promise to yourself and keep it. When you make a promise and keep it you will find yourself grow in self-assurance and confidence. The more successful you are with making and keeping promises to yourself, the more you will be able to make and keep promises to others."

My personal goals in 2010 are to finalize an estate plan (can you say procrastination?), get my kids to eat healthier foods (we call it Operation Eat Your Veggies) and work on my body, mind and soul, living with purpose every chance I get. So in this, the first of a two-part post, I want to know... what is your primary resolution this year? I wouldn't suggest setting one like my friend Jennifer. "My resolution? To procrastinate more, gain a few pounds and leave my house a pigsty. I'm either using reverse psychology or relaxing my expectations."

Be honest! I'm going to be checking in with you next week to see how things are going.

Jackie Morgan MacDougall, on the never-ending quest for balance, enjoys life in Los Angeles with her husband, Jeff, and their three small kids. Read more of her take on parenting, kids and everything else on The Silver Whining.

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