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Posted Monday August 9, 2010 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

Imagine standing in the middle of a party filled with your closest friends, family, some co-workers and random acquaintances. Between small talk and the exchange of endless baby pics and "aren't my kids adorable?" stories, you suddenly find yourself bombarded with unfiltered (and sometimes-uneducated) opinions on politics, religion and current events.

Sure, that scenario is pretty unlikely. Because most of us actually practice party etiquette, having been taught somewhere along the line to skip discussions surrounding politics, religion, sex and money while in the company of those you don't know well.

But on Facebook, it's a totally different story! Facebook is a place to spew anything and everything that pops into your mind, regardless of how anyone else may feel about it, right? Seriously, what is it about the social networking site that encourages diarrhea of the mouth fingers among young and old, from slacker 20-somethings to 40-year-old professionals?

When Prop 8 (the banning of same-sex marriage) was overturned in California last week, Facebook was all abuzz with reactions both for and against the ruling. Lots of CAPITAL LETTERS and *@%*! words filled my news stream, no opinion left unexpressed. Sure, I had thoughts... and I even posted my feelings using one simple word -- YES! But every update I read was even more "passionate" than the last, with even the ones I agreed with making me cringe -- they were so in-your-face.

While I do enjoy getting to know people better by their FB posts (I've actually become friends with my next-door neighbor through Facebook), there's something to be said about life BFB (before Facebook) when we were unaware of the inner workings (both physically and mentally) of an acquaintance. Remember when we could just nod with polite hellos, having no idea that we lived up the street from a proud racist or that the office assistant had a kidney infection? Now it's easy to find yourself questioning even close relationships, wondering how you even became friends with that person after being subjected to daily f-bomb rants about local traffic.

It's not just personal information that can suck the fun out of Facebook. Am I the only one who gets message after message "reminding" me about yet another upcoming Tupperware party? Maybe there should be guidelines here. If you wouldn't call my house five times in a three day span, maybe you should slow down with the FB messages. Don't get me started with the invitations to groups I don't understand and requests to "like" a page with a name so riddled with spelling-and-grammar mistakes, I don't even know what it says. And what's with the "causes"? I'm not clicking to support de-clawed cats or joining the fight to keep turtles off Facebook. Where do you people find the time?

One thing I've learned over my 39 years is that we can't change others, only ourselves. Facebook has caught onto that fact and recently provided us with some sneaky ways to keep our sanity and protect us against overzealous "friends."

Hide and Seek Does cousin Mary constantly offend you with her views on politics? No problem! Facebook makes it easy to hide her status updates without her even knowing. Does your sister spend more time playing Farmville, Family Feud and Mafia Wars than raising her kids? You can hide games and applications you'd rather not see without missing those all-important "I'm buying milk at the grocery store" status updates.

Demand Privacy My FB life changed the day my friend Kim showed me how much fun I could have with FB privacy settings. While I like networking and meeting new people in my community, there was something that didn't feel right about people I don't know seeing my summer vacation pics and personal information. You can create "groups" among friends and determine which groups have access to what information. It even gives you the option of posting a photo, status, video, etc and only share it with specific people. You know you're heading over there right now to check it out for yourself!

Spam? No Ma'am! Tired of others using your wall as a billboard for their own business, interests or opinions? You can change it with a click of a box. Under privacy settings, you can remove the ability for others to post directly on your wall, still giving them the opportunity to comment on your posts, which they could still decide is an invitation to share their crap.

Facebook is a fun-derful tool for connecting, staying in touch and even growing your business. But if you wouldn't share it, say it or promote it in real life, you should think twice before posting it. And remember, friends don't let friends Facebook recklessly.


Jackie Morgan MacDougall is a TV-executive turned parenting blogger who lives a crazy life with her husband and three small kids. Her dreams of climbing the corporate ladder have been replaced by the dream of one day having a nap.

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