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Posted Friday July 9, 2010 by Jackie Morgan MacDougall

Sometimes, life lessons happen where you least expect them.
 
Making time for a pedicure is about as rare as walking out of Costco with just the "one thing" you came for. But recently I enjoyed a much-needed pedicure with a thought-provoking parenting rant on the side, ending with the manicurist venting animatedly about how things have changed since she raised kids. "Kids have too many toys! Send them outside, give them a can... some string... tell them to use their imagination," she snapped. "It's not good for them to be given everything they want."
 
Funny thing, I didn't mind it. Because she was right.
 
Think back for a moment about your favorite childhood memories. Let me guess, the ones that stand out above the rest don't include an expensive toy requiring an endless supply of batteries. For me, the moments that cause me to reminisce are experiences kids today would balk at while pulling out their DS. But it's actually what we didn't have (compared to kids today) that gave us what we really needed -- a childhood.
 
5 Ways We're Robbing Our Kids of Childhood
 
Trash Talk Reduce, reuse and recycle may be the mantra of the 21st century but kids were going green way before it was trendy. I remember taking the empty roll of paper towel and using it as a microphone -- worked every time (add some wax paper and a rubber band and you've got the perfect kazoo). My husband tells me stories of large green trash bags doubling as a Slip and Slide. And I could go on for days about the many creative ways to use an aluminum can (who didn't love a good game of Kick the Can?).
 
Food for Thought Nope, I'm not about to lay on the guilt that we should be eating dinner together every night. My husband works evenings so it's not even possible in our house and we have to be more creative in finding family time. It's the "You eat what I serve" mom mentality that we've lost, replaced by sous chefs who respond to tiny tyrants' every food whim, sometimes making a different meal for each demand.
 
Can you imagine placing a food order when you were growing up? Heck, if you wanted to play restaurant, you'd go back to your empty box with the drawn on windows and have Barbie whip up a little something.
 
Bored in the USA Of course my kids would never believe it, but I actually lived during a time when video games weren't in every household (and certainly weren't portable!). Linda remembers a childhood where climbing trees, rolling around in the grass, and playing hide n seek kept kids busy for hours. "Now kids rely on computers and video games to entertain them. I actually saw my daughter IM her friend who was sitting next to her!" Noreen agrees, "So many parents today try to live vicariously through their children by signing them up for so many activities that the kids are so mentally and physically drained. Then the parents want to blame the schools/teachers because their kids are struggling to keep up."
 
Pediatrician Dr. Gwenn O'Keeffe has seen this growing trend throughout her 15 years practicing medicine. "Today, parents can't cope with kids' boredom, so then kids can't cope with kids' boredom." But in her own house, she works hard to resist the pressure to jam-pack the kids' schedules full of activities. "We're doing nothing this summer, letting our kids do the pool, be bums. They're only young once and we're tired of not having time to just chill and go with the flow."
 
Jonesing for the Joneses The pressure to keep up with the latest trends was certainly real when I was growing up. The only difference was, parents didn't necessarily cave. When half the girls in my class were showing up at school in Jordache jeans, I did not. In fact, I was that girl who eventually would be seen sporting the very-obvious knockoff, just as the style was moving on to something else. Sure, it's no fun being the kid with the rip-off Nikes with the upside down swoosh but guess what, I survived. It's probably where I got my work ethic, getting myself a paper route at ten years old, empowered with the ability to prioritize which trends really mattered and paying with my own money. How can kids really know what's actually important to them if they don't even have to want it more than a day or two before it's handed over?
 
Rapid Rewards Let's start with the parents who suddenly changed the Tooth Fairy game and started dropping 20 bucks under their kid's pillow, shall we? To them I say, everyone's teeth fall out, people. It's nature! Why are your kids making more money losing their choppers than the teen working at the local grocery store? And who didn't learn very quickly that even though we were going to the store with our moms, we would be returning empty handed, with the occasional surprise of a random treat -- not every time. And don't get me started about the whole idea of a sibling getting a present on his brother or sister's birthday so they don't feel left out. PLEASE!
 
Give Me Freedom! Whether it was playing out of reach of a helicopter parent, life without the need of a social secretary or finding things to do that didn't cost a cent, childhood and freedom were practically synonymous.  As a parent, I can certainly relate to wanting to provide our kids with everything we didn't have, but doing so can also strip away a child's ability to discover problem-solving skills, imagination, and the sense of accomplishment only found from determination and hard work. And while our kids may think they know what they want now, it's our job to give them what they need to become strong, self-sufficient and empowered adults. Because don't forget, it's our kids who may ultimately be taking care of us in the end.
 

Jackie Morgan MacDougall is a TV-executive turned parenting blogger who lives a crazy life with her husband and three small kids. Her dreams of climbing the corporate ladder have been replaced by the dream of one day having a nap.

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