Where's My Manual?
They don't teach you this stuff in medical school
The Idiot's Guide to Kiddie Pools
2 |
Just add water. And bugs.
A few weeks ago, we had the bright idea to buy an inflatable kiddie pool for Jolie to use in the backyard for some summertime water fun. Our next door neighbors had a beautiful inflatable pool for their baby twins, and I was immediately sold on the idea.
Of course we needed a kiddie pool! We had recently taken Jolie out to dinner one hot summer night and there was a large spraying fountain built into the center of the plaza, with water squirting high into the air from one spot, then the next. Legions of wildly happy children had been let loose, some in bathing suits, some in their underwear, running and screaming and playing. Jolie so wanted to get her butt out there but we didn't have a change of clothes, a towel, or anything.
She was hungry for water-play.
So we went to the toy store and got a basic inflatable kiddie pool and couldn't wait to get it set-up. After nearly killing myself from lung exhaustion and hyperventilation, I sadly realized there was no way I could blow the thing up with my mouth.
First mistake: Not having an electric air-pump.
We borrowed our neighbors' and it was inflated in like 10 minutes.
Second mistake: Attempting to fill up the pool with the sprayer attachment still on our garden hose.
Yes, we are both MDs. JP, in fact, has a MD/PhD. Yet, we sat, squeezing the trigger while trying to fill the pool. Note there was development of hand cramps and we were too fatigued to fill it more than 1/4 full. Okay, it was more like 1/8th. But she could splash her ankles!
Third mistake: Not getting a pool cover.
A few days passed after Jolie's inaugural ankle-splashing and next time we looked inside the pool, we were horrified by what we saw: Leaves, debris, dirt, swill, and about 1,000,000,000 mosquitos.
Oops.
Fourth mistake: Not realizing you need to perform regular maintenance on a kiddie pool unless you enjoy creating dangerous public health situations or are cultivating a mosquito farm.
We're learning. Honest.
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The Idiot's Guide to Kiddie Pools
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When I'm not writing here or at Where's My Cape?, I can be found practicing internal medicine, teaching, chasing my daughter, and not sleeping nearly enough. I don't trust squirrels farther than I can throw them.
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