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Seen better days

With this last pregnancy, I gained 42 pounds. 42! I thought it would end up being much less than last time since I was eating better and my weight rise wasn't quite so exponential (last time it was 51!).

When JL was 2 weeks old, I had lost 20 pounds, fast weight  loss that I attribute to baby, excess fluid retention, placenta, and the like. After that, the scale hardly moved.

Since then, it's been fairly slow and steady: In the past seven weeks, I think I've lost about 4 pounds. This is right around the target for baby weight loss that I've read, about 2 1/2 pounds per month. I remember last time, I continued to lose weight like this in a stop and go fashion. For a couple of weeks, no movement on the scale, and then bam, a pound, sometimes two less, all of a sudden.

The truth is, this weight loss is happening naturally since I'm nursing. I just haven't had the time or, let's face it, the motivation to start exercising in addition to keeping up with a newborn and a toddler. I'm not even dieting since I'm nursing and wouldn't want to risk decreasing my milk supply anyway by taking in too little calories (although I did decide to forgo dessert for Lent, but do not count anything with the word 'cracker' attached to it, so I'm still cheating animal crackers and graham crackers. Shhhh. Don't tell).

It feels good though to move. I've been continuing to walk my daughter to and from school which, although not nearly far enough to count as true exercise, is something. (My elliptical in our bedroom tries to mock me every morning.)

I miss my old body. My skinny jeans are just a memory. I really want to get back to my baseline weight and my regular clothes. At this rate, it may take another 9 months, which is fine by me, as long as it happens eventually. I think we're done with having children, which will mean being able to claim my body back for good. (And if I gain weight, it will be my own fault, not a pregnancy!)

I should really carve out time to exercise. But from where?