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I thought by the second time around, I would quit being so anxious and uptight about every little thing. I'm definitely more laid back, having gone through this all once before not so long ago, but one thing still stresses me out to no end: the baby's sleep.

For the first 7 weeks of his life, I stressed about when he would start sleeping longer stretches at night. I re-read all of my many baby sleep books, trying to re-educate myself on the natural development of infant sleep and ways to prevent future sleep problems. I dug through my mental recesses trying to remember how Jolie progressed and, how was it, exactly, were we able to make her into the good sleeper she would become?

I remember we were at a friend's beach house when she was very young, maybe 10 or 11 weeks, and our friends were impressed when she was able to fall asleep unassisted after a little grunting. How did we do that?

I suppose it's natural to become a little bit obsessed about the baby sleeping more when you yourself are sleep-deprived.  Anorexics who deprive themselves of food obsess about food in a similar way. Even so, I think I have a tendency to go a little overboard on the whole neurotic scale when it comes to this.

I went to an event with a whole much of mothers a few weeks ago, right on the heels of a night with 5 or 6 night-wakings, and started every conversation with, "They get better right? Did you have sleep issues?" One of the mothers simply smiled and shrugged, saying, "I don't stress about it. They'll sleep eventually."  I suddenly felt like a tool for being so uptight, yes, he'll fall into his natural pattern. I know this at some level; yet, I still find it hard not to constantly ruminate about when it might happen and how I might help it along.

And on his own, little JL, on the night before his 2 month well-child visit to the pediatrician, slept 9 straight hours after we put him to bed. 9 hours!  I woke up several times, checking the clock, not believing he hadn't woken up yet to eat (prior to this his longest stretch of sleep EVER was 3 1/2 hours). Of course I didn't let my hopes get up--maybe it was a total fluke-- but, no, it was real. He's been sleeping 6-9 hours at a time after going to bed for the evening.

The books said this too: that after a peak of fussiness at 6 weeks, babies start to settle and start sleeping longer stretches at night. So it was.

Yet, now, I am stressed again since his naps are disorganized and it's difficult for him to sleep continuous stretches. I stress that it seems we have to put him down to sleep only after he has fallen into a deep sleep to prevent him from waking after ten minutes. I stress that he is getting progressively more tired as the day goes on, having bad nap after bad nap.

Too much stress. ARGH.

Maybe I just need a little faith that time will work out everything. He will fall into a routine, a pattern. He will sleep better during the day.

I can't control everything. (Ah. So maybe that's what's at work here.)