The World's Best (and Easiest) Dill Pickles

Posted July 19, 2010

Find more about summer , pickles

19 |

I found this helpful Thank You! Your vote will be tallied soon!

Doesn't it look just exactly like a pickle? I know!

It starts like this.

And this. You'll need a Ben to measure your water for you.

Don't worry if you can't find those dilly seed-head umbrellas--it's fine to use just some regular fresh dill.

They look like this at first.

Or like this, covered with a plate.

And after 48 hours, they look like this. Yum.

Pickles.

Pickle-eating Anni. "That's good," I said, snapping pictures like a pornographer. "Just like that."

Pickle-eating baby.

Pickle-eating Birdy. Guess whether or not Birdy is excited about the baby.

Where did that whole pickles-and-ice-cream thing come from? Sitcoms, probably. The same ones where cops pulled over speeding cars, and husbands with cigarettes and fedoras said, "I'm sorry officer--my wife is having a baby," before zooming after a cheerful police escort. We were all given the misapprehension that babies would come clattering from our gaping selves like gumballs from a machine. If only! Ben ended up clattering from my gaping self like a gumball that was being choked on by a miniature-throated earthworm. I could have ridden to the hospital on tortoiseback, and still there would have been time to yell my head off for another 15 or 20 hours before anything came clattering out of anywhere. And in the end, of course, there was no clattering at all, just the surgical prying loose of a gigantic and stubborn Ben who was very very angry to have been dislodged from the life of a cozy parasite. Poor Ben.

Now where was I? Oh. Pickles. Yes, I craved pickles when I was pregnant, but this was no big shocker; I had already been craving pickles for my entire life. My parents used to bribe me to wash my hair with the promise of a pickle in the bathtub, which I munched with a great and sudsing happiness. I ate sweet gherkins and sour dills and bread and butters. I ate cornichons and half-sours and spicy sandwich slices. And my favorite pickles of all were and are my mom's: the dill pickle recipe that she got from our long-ago neighbor Joe Szarwas, a version of which I'm offering you here. If you've never made pickles before, you will make these, and then you'll be like, Really? Because they are so easy and so good. Crunchy, dilly, garlicky, a little salty, a little sour. Or a lot sour, if you're me and you leave them on the counter for three full days before eating them, at which point they will have turned the khaki green of a pickle that's going to make you pucker up and kiss it. If you're my dad, then you eat them before the brine has fully cooled, and your brat of a daughter will say, "You call that a pickle?" like she's the only real Jew in the family, which maybe she is.

And if you're Anni, then you'll eat them whenever. With or without ice cream. Because you're pregnant and you love them. And you love everything. And you're living in my house, pregnant, and eating and loving everything, which is just the nicest way to be. Dear ones, please meet Anni, our friend and new housemate, user of good-smelling shampoo, lover of Ben and Birdy, mother of the claw-clattering Mr. Paws, and soon-to-be-mama of a guaranteed pickle-loving human who will be born this very fall. I promise to keep you posted.

The World's Best (and Easiest) Dill Pickles
Active time: 5 minutes; total time: 2-3 days

This is a good time of year to get small pickling cucumbers from farm stands and farmers' markets, but no worries if you can't; just slice up a big cuke or two and make pickles from that. They'll still be delicious.

4 cups of water
3 tablespoons of kosher salt (or half as much table salt)
1/2 cup white vinegar
1 1/2 pounds small pickling cucumbers or 2 seedless English cucumbers (the kind wrapped in plastic)
3 cloves of garlic, peeled and halved
4 large sprigs of dill (or two fresh dill heads, if you can get them)
1/4 teaspoon black peppercorns

Combine the water, salt, and vinegar in a small saucepan and bring it to a boil, then turn off the heat and leave the brine to cool completely.

Meanwhile prepare the cucumbers: wash them, trim off the blossom ends (that's the end opposite where it grows on the stem), and, if you're using large cucumbers, slice them a quarter inch thick, otherwise leave them whole. Put the cucumbers in a large glass or nonreactive metal bowl with the garlic, dill and peppercorns layered throughout, then pour the cooled brine over all of it (if you're a bit short, simply mix up another batch or half batch and cool it quickly in the freezer before adding).

Lay a plate over the top of the cukes--one small enough to fit in the bowl, but large enough to cover most of the veggies, since it will help keep them submerged in the brine. Now leave the cucumbers for 2 or 3 days, until they are nice and sour to your liking. Transfer them with their brine to a large glass jar, in which they will keep in the fridge for a couple of weeks--though you're unlikely to have them for that long.

Member Comments On...

The World's Best (and Easiest) Dill Pickles

Family

Account Warning

Dalai Mama Dishes

by Catherine Newman

Catherine Newman cooks for the family

Dalai Mama Dishes

Catherine Newman cooks for the family

The World's Best (and Easiest) Dill Pickles

Member Comments On...