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At the end of the Cheese's parent/teacher conference at school today, the teacher asked me if I had any questions.

"Do you notice him getting overly emotional ever?"

Lately we've been having trouble with the Cheese crying at the drop of a hat.  If he doesn't get his way or you do something like tell him, "Just a minute" he will instantly burst into tears.  Not something that you normally expect from a 6-year-old.

His teacher told me yes; he had issues with crying, but it wasn't affecting his learning and that he was learning to control his emotions better.  I must say, I was relieved to hear this.  I was worried that it was something that was only happening at home, which meant that it was something that my husband and I are doing (or aren't doing) to cause/encourage this sort of behavior from our son.

She told me that when she sees his lip start to quiver she will tell him, "I'm so proud of you for not getting upset" after which he sucks it up and pulls himself together.  Sounds simple enough, but at home there is no lip quivering.  He simply goes straight for the meltdown.

The Golfer and I have been at a loss on how to deal with our child's emotions.  We get way too frustrated with him, saying things like "There's nothing to cry about."  What I've realized is that this statement means nothing to our son, hence why he continues to cry even after we say it.  For him, not getting his breakfast at the moment that he wants it is something worth getting upset over.

What I am growing to understand is that this is an issue of self-control.  Somehow I have to learn how to teach my son how to have better control over his emotions.  He is a happy, bright, intelligent boy who loves to play with his friends and build his Legos and occasionally push his little brother around and cry over the fact that we are out of Eggo waffles.

This is also a maturity issue.  Let's face it.  Boys mature much slower emotionally than girls.  We understand that this is somewhat of a phase and that he will grow out of it as he matures.  In the meantime, I'm still searching for effective tools to give him right now to help him get a handle on things. 

One of the parenting books that I am currently reading is Parenting With Fire: Lighting Up the Family with Passion and Inspiration.  This book was written by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach from the show "Shalom in the Home."  Although I am not Jewish, I find his ideas and thoughts...inspirational.  It's all about motivating your children to surf through life at the top of the wave.

Another good parenting book is The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel, Ph.D.  Another Jewish author, this book focuses on raising children in a self-indulgent, overloaded world.  There are references to Jewish teachings, but they are applicable to families of all faiths.

The final parenting book on my bedside table is Raising A Son by Don Elium and Jeanne Elium.  In its third edition, this book looks at challenges that are specific to raising a son like triggers for aggression, something called "the boy code", and for me right now, the highly sensitive son.   

I better get busy reading.