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A rare moment of exercise last fall.

I don't want to go on a diet, but the truth is ... I need to. 

I'll be really honest with you.  I have never gone on a diet.  It's not that I haven't ever needed to go on one, it's that I have never wanted to.  Instead of dieting, I've always told myself, "I'll just change my eating habits and exercise regularly.  That's the healthier option."  As true as that statement might be, I have never followed through with it.

Let's face it.  It can be hard to be a mom and always eat right.  It's easy to just eat whatever the kids are eating, and I can always find something to do other than exercise.  There are plenty of excuses that moms use as reasons why they are out of shape--the baby weight, the fatigue, the time.  Believe me, I know.  I've used them all.

Over the last 10 years, my metabolism has slowed down and my eating hasn't.  I rarely deny myself when it comes to a meal.  If I want it, I eat it.  The reality, however, is that I need to step out of myself and take a good look. 

• I've had two kids via c-section.  My stomach muscles just aren't what they used to be. 
• I am in my mid-thirties and only getting older.
• I HATE to exercise. 
• Food is my cure all.  If I'm stressed or unhappy, food is my band-aid. 
• I love sweets.  My favorite meal?  Chocolate cake and a glass of milk. 
• Lots of women on both sides of my family were over-weight, and I'm afraid that if I'm not careful, I could be headed in that same direction.     

So here I am.  Summer is quickly approaching and I want to go to the beach and not worry about jiggling.  Honestly, though, there is something greater that is driving me to do this: I want to be healthy for my children.  I want them to be proud of me, not embarrased.  I want to be full of energy and live and long life.  I want to do this for them. 

As I was thinking about blogging today, I decided that I would force myself to do something that is well, embarrasing.  I'm going to be honest, both with myself and with all of you.  Usually, I lie about my weight--to my husband, on my driver's license, and anyone who has the audacity to ask--but not today.  

It's time to come clean.  It's time to "name it and claim it!"  I am 5'6" and I weigh 165 pounds.  The average woman for that height is 130 pounds.  Which means that I need to lose 35 pounds.  Hello!  Wake up!  Put down the donut and get on the treadmill! 

Why, you might be thinking, am I sharing all of this with you?  Because I need the encouragement of having a group of people waiting to see, "Will she or won't she?"  So, in the next week, I will be sharing my plans, both diet and exercise.  I'm not sure what those will be yet, but I plan to do a little research in the coming days.  I plan to regularly share my successes and my failures here on family.com, and I promise to always be honest, because, well, I have a lot to lose.  (Pun intended.)

I want to do this!  I need to do this!  I have to do this! 

Sigh.  I don't know if I can do this.