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The holidays can be overwhelming for some

I love getting together with family during the holidays. We have at least four family gatherings to attend: Hanukkah with my husband's family, a Christmas party with other members of my husband's family, Christmas Eve with my father's side of my family, and Christmas Day with my mother's side of my family. I'll admit - it's exhausting - but often this is the only time we will see some family members for an entire year.

Big family gatherings aren't so easy for Cordy, however. Along with her autism, she also has a sensory processing disorder. Normal sensory experiences are sometimes too much for her to handle. The bright, twinkling lights bother her. The big crowd of people overwhelms her. Going to a strange house, and being served food that she normally doesn't eat, easily leads to a meltdown.

Pretty much everything that we enjoy about the holidays upsets her. She can't block out the background noise or the distracting lights the way we can. This started two years ago, although last year was when we started to suspect that she didn't handle things the way typical kids do. Last year she had a colossal tantrum at Hanukkah, and as a result we skipped out on the first Christmas party because we worried about how she would handle it. My family's Christmas Eve party was also difficult.

Part of the problem lies in the fact that family members often don't know how to treat Cordy. When we arrive someplace new, she needs time to warm up to the new location, and during that time she is generally unapproachable. But it's only normal that distant family want to see her, and so despite our warnings they come up to her and try to hug her or touch her. They will be in her face, too close for her comfort, and try to be larger-than-life and animated. A typical child would probably giggle and react warmly. Cordy will squirm away at best, or at worst will be reduced to tears and screaming.

We know they only want to be affectionate with her, and it hurts to see people upset with her reactions. Which is why I'm trying to think of a way for everyone to be happy this year. One idea is to arrange to arrive at any party early, giving Cordy time to explore her surroundings before the crowd is there. Another idea is for either my husband or I to go inside ahead of the other, reminding people to let Cordy come up to them and not to scare her.

I'm not sure which we'll use, but I hope one of these ideas will make the parties a little less stressful for all of us. Once she's comfortable, Cordy is a fun, sweet little girl to be around. I want our family to see that side of her, and I want her memories of Hanukkah and Christmas to be pleasant and not painful.

^{Disney Family does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Call your doctor regarding any medical condition. Never disregard your doctor's advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the Disney Family site.}