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I have foggy memories of the person I was before I had kids. I was a person drifting through life happily, working from home for my cushy job, taking classes part-time for a Masters degree, and enjoying being a 20-something with my boyfriend, later fiancé, and eventually husband.

I can vaguely remember the wealth of free time I had. The times we'd spend sitting around asking each other, "What do you want to do?" "I dunno...what do you want to do?" I'd spend a lazy Sunday afternoon curled up on the futon reading a book or watching a movie. Sometimes I'd work on a new sewing project, other times I'd do cross-stitch. A lot of my mental energy was invested in social causes, drama among friends, and the myriad of small interests I had. My husband and I spent many nights eating out with friends, not worrying about the costs because it was only the two of us, and we had plenty of income to support our dining habits.

Best of all was the sleep, though. With so much free time, and few responsibilities, I indulged in sleeping in most days of the week. For the workweek, I was generally out of bed by 9:00 AM, but on weekends I might sleep in until 11:00 AM, or take a mid-afternoon nap if I felt like it.

I didn't know just how good I had it.

Now that we have children, everything is different. We greedily snatch up any free time that presents itself, unsure of when we will see more again. With one child, free time was hard to come by, but not impossible. With two children, though, free time is scarce. From the time I wake up, until I go to bed - and even in the middle of the night - something needs to be done. Setting aside time for myself generally means neglecting some duty.

Eating out is also a rarity now. Besides the fact that we have far less money now that I've quit my office job, the hassle of taking a baby and a preschooler out to eat isn't worth it most of the time. It's never a relaxing experience anymore.

As for my hobbies, well, they are coated in a fine layer of dust. My sewing machine sits cold and alone - when I can finally get a moment to myself, I simply don't have the energy to sew. The same goes for cross-stitching and knitting, too. My guest bedroom is covered in half-finished projects. I can't remember the last time I finished a fictional novel. A friend of mine loaned me a novel when Cordy was under a year old. She's now three, and I'm still only a third of the way through the book. At this point I'd probably need to re-read the first third to have a chance of understanding where I left off. Maybe I'll finish it by the time she graduates high school.

And sleep...I miss sleep. It's the one thing I long for the most, and the one thing I am continually denied. Cordy wakes at 5am, and Mira still wakes at least once a night, plus the majority of chores are done after they go to bed, so in total I get about 4-5 hours of sleep per night.

There's no arguing that children eat up a lot of your free time, money and energy. The person I am today is nothing like the person I was before kids.

But then I look at what I have: two beautiful little girls, growing bigger each day, and learning so much as they explore the world around them. And I get to be their tour guide to the world. It is a huge responsibility, but it's such a joy, too. I now get hugs from Cordy and random professions of "I wuv you, mommy." My daily presence is rewarded with smiles from Mira. I watch them jump new hurdles put in front of them, and marvel at the two amazing beings my husband and I created. And as I watch Mira coo and giggle at the ceiling fan while Cordy lines up her number puzzle pieces in order, I think to myself:

I didn't know just how good I have it now.