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I can't help being paranoid. I come from a long line of mothers who used mass media to (on a good day) warn their children about the perils of everyday living or (on a bad day) threaten them with natural laws that seemed to favor Mom's rules.

Anyway, I can't help being paranoid. I'm not one of those moms who won't let anyone hold her baby; I'll gladly take the break, and I'm lucky enough to have kids who have no stranger anxiety. But I won't let just anyone hold the baby, or watch the older kid--even just for a few seconds.

So when my 3-year-old said something so disturbing that it sent red flags flying about who he'd been with and what he'd been doing (especially the time he'd spent in the company of a friend's preteen), my first question was, Where did I go wrong?

I won't repeat what he said, but it was enough to make me grill some friends about how to interview a child. One friend in particular had received training from Head Start. "Just be matter-of-fact," she told me. "Ask him a straightforward question without showing your fear. At this age, they don't lie if they think it's just a question."

So I did that. And, thankfully, he didn't confirm my fears. But we did use the instance to start educating him about appropriateness.

I'll never be as paranoid as, say, a law enforcement parent. My thinking nonetheless is that while the odds may be slim, all it takes is one person, one time, to screw up a child for life.