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We haven't done too many playdates, for a variety of reasons:

First, we live in the middle of nowhere. It's hard to meet people, much less people with children Hamlet's age--and who I want to hang around with. Second, I'm an introvert. I'm quite happy home alone, sharing companionable silence with whomever happens to be around. Third--and final--my social skills, while not altogether lacking, are a bit stunted. So when I finally did pull together a playdate for my little extrovert, I found it challenging to guide him along the muddy path of social graces.

His playmate wanted to play with a battery-operated toy. (Really, is there any other kind?) Hamlet wanted it off. "I want it ON!/I want it OFF!" punctuated the mothers' efforts: "Hamlet, he's our guest. Let him have it," I said. "Honey, it's his toy. Don't play with it if he doesn't want you to," said my friend. Oh, the contradictions! This, folks, is why I stay away from socializing: it's too confusing.

Hamlet is still young enough for redirection, which I forgot while my head was spinning. I could have kissed my friend when she said, "Hey guys! How about a snack?" and they both responded, "Yeah!" Which surprised me, because Hamlet is so picky that food almost never gets his attention.

It turned into a nice playdate after all. And hopefully, contradictory though our messages were, they gave both boys the beginnings of the tools they'll need to set appropriate boundaries.