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At the playground the other day, a pair of big kids (about 8 or 9) were playing "sniper" with each other, making machine gun sounds and chasing one another all over the play structure.

It wasn't the first time Hamlet has been exposed to gunplay. One of his preschool classmates' father is a correctional officer; that boy often plays with pretend guns. Plus, where we live in northern New England, hunting is a way of life.

I have nothing against guns, or even hunting. Good, responsible hunters are much more humane for, say, deer population control than putting them on birth control and letting them starve to death instead. Moreover, guns will always be around.

My feeling: it's important not to be anti-gun, but to teach responsibly. My uncle, a special agent with U.S. Customs, regularly let his kids handle his unloaded gun. It demystified the weapon for them. A former coworker of mine made his kids go through NRA safety training before they could go hunting with him (let alone handle a firearm).

So far, Hamlet's teacher doesn't allow gunplay in her classroom, and I haven't had occasion to warn him off violent gunplay--for instance, against baby brother. However, at the same time, he's learning about death (why did the ant stop moving after he rolled over it with his compactor?); we've only told him it means going away forever.

We're trying to keep in mind that this age is all about experimentation. Hence Hamlet's interest in wearing my necklaces and Rain Dog's slippers! That's why we won't, however, discuss guns and how badly they can hurt people--unless we notice them becoming part of an aggressive pattern of play. Nothing would establish an unhealthy interest faster, and this is one thing I want to get absolutely right.