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When Hamlet was born, I had a rudimentary understanding of babywearing: it was said to foster the parent-child bond. Who wouldn't want that? I got a front carrier.

Hamlet hated it, so I ended up holding him almost constantly. When I got pregnant with Boris, I needed a better solution. Research led me to a wrap: a 4.2-meter swath that swaddles the baby against me, and leaves me hands-free.

Right now, at least one of Boris' daily naps takes place in his wrap. This should be no problem for a good AP parent. And in general, I love it -- but for a few limitations I hadn’t anticipated.

First, the back strain. I may as well be pregnant again. I could be doing something wrong, but no matter how high I tie him or how tight I pull the straps, Boris manages to sink until most of him is centered where it was three months ago: my abdomen.

I could solve the problem with the great core program I found after I had Hamlet; abs and lumbar muscles support each other, and while my back is strong, my abs are stretched from childbearing. The only problem is finding the time.

Other problems: I never figured out how to nurse in the wrap. Also, until he is in a deep sleep, Boris prefers constant motion -- but not in the form of housework.

In short, babywearing is a balance among Boris' need to be worn, Hamlet's need for interaction, and my need for independence.