Happy Woman Blues
Attachment parenting in a detached world
A deficit in attention, Part II
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When Hamlet was born, I held him a lot. Sure, there were times that I popped him in his playdome so I could work. But that never seemed to last long. I'd then hold him on my lap... and still not get much done.
Boris sometimes doesn't seem as lucky. To be sure, wearing him has helped hugely. He often falls asleep on my back, for instance, while I wash dishes or take Hamlet for a walk, or even while I work on the computer.
But baby-wearing doesn't work for us all the time. Boris doesn't always want to be in there. Other times, the work I'm doing is not conducive to wearing him. Gardening, for instance, requires me to lean over a lot. Boris doesn't like when I lean.
Worst is when I am distracted from baby care because Hamlet has me running. I hate leaving Boris to cry while I deal with a dirty diaper or a discipline problem, but Hamlet usually doesn't want his brother around in those moments.
This is why I wonder if Boris reverse cycles for these reasons. Much of it does have to do with his level of interest in his world, but between Hamlet's demands and my work--and the fact that I don't play well with babies--he could as easily be trying to get my attention.
I'm sure it will become both easier and harder to balance their needs as they get older. Boris will learn to use language and play, making it easier to respond to him--as I've found with Hamlet. But by then, Hamlet will be in school. New friends and interests will require my attention as much as Boris's questions. As with so much else about parenting, all I can do for them both is to balance their needs as best I can.
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A deficit in attention, Part II
About Me
I've worked at home since April 2001 and mothered since July 2003. My personal blog, Freelance Mother, details how I maintain my freelance writing career while I take care of my children.
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