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My brother and I had terrible sibling rivalry growing up. In fact, I'd characterize him as victim, me as bully. So I was especially sensitive to how Hamlet would feel when his baby brother arrived. I wanted them to have the same close relationship that Rain Dog and his brother have. I worked hard to prepare Hamlet--not too hard, because I didn't want him to catch on that it might not be a good change--telling him what he could expect.

The first six months went better than I expected. Unsure of how to take Boris for the first few weeks, Hamlet wouldn't touch him. We let it go and gave him as much attention as we could. Actually, that part was easy. Boris slept most of his first three weeks.

At four weeks, he started to smile at us. That was when Hamlet warmed up: when Boris recognized him. The rest of the ice melted when Boris began to laugh. To anticipate, in fact, that something silly would happen whenever Hamlet was around. Hamlet, in turn, paid attention to him, told us to pick Boris up when he cried, took out his aggression at us alone.

At six months, the lines have blurred. It's harder to devote attention to Hamlet alone, and Hamlet is far more comfortable with having a baby around. Aggression and affection sometimes merge: tickles turn to tears, for example.

I've become a lot more hypersensitive to how much attention I give Hamlet. Even a decision about whether to leave him with Grandma, or take both him and his still-nursing brother shopping with me, is enough to make me not want to go out at all--Will he welcome the one-on-one time, or think I'm abandoning him to go out with Boris?

Easy answer: make sure we both get plenty of alone time with Hamlet, which is only difficult when we let other things--yardwork, housework--take priority. But, as a client said, children give what they get.