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Just Amy

by AmyH07

If tension headaches count, this mom is having it all!

Just Amy

If tension headaches count, this mom is having it all!

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The Happiness Set Point

Posted May 21, 2007
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One theory that I intend to more fully explore should I ever have more than 30 consecutive seconds of free time is the idea that people are predisposed to a certain level of happiness, regardless of circumstance.  Specifically if this is true, I'd like to know how you bump it up without all the rigmarole of success, hard work, achievement and luck.

I pointed this out to my husband the other day as he returned from work afflicted by 3rd party envy.  Apparently a coworker of his had spent the weekend at an out of town golfing trip with college buddies, all who apparently were now commanding large seven figure salaries as hedge fund managers and company owners, etc.  Naturally this threw the non-mutli-millionaire into a depression, which he kindly shared with my husband. 

My husband, considering this, said to me "I think we might be losers." 

"Indeed we are." I replied, looking up from reading a recent press announcement that a former junior person I mentored was retiring from a going-public firm he founded to "focus on philanthropy" at the ripe old age of 30.

By conventional standards, we are probably doing ok, but by comparing ourselves to the better off, yeah, total losers.  Idiots.

Not wanting this to affect his happiness, I said to my husband, "Think of it this way.  Back in college, we were dirt poor, right.  Are you happier now that we have a lot more money than you were then?"  He stopped and considered this.  "No.  No, I'm not." He replied.  "In fact, I think I was happier THEN." 

Then I had to bring Mr. Delusional back down to ground and remind him of our current happinesses too, before he decided to ditch his job, dig out his Birkenstocks and move into a free-love commune.

The overall point, as I pointed out for my husband, is that we have been together for 15 years and in general our happiness level has been pretty constant, aside from specific event-driven highs or lows.  Despite our financial state being dramatically evolved over the period of that time, we aren't really any happier for having more money.  We were happy then, and we are happy now.    So while it's undoubtedly true that we are suckers for not having made the mega-big-time, at least we can safely assume we are no less happy for it

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The Happiness Set Point

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