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My father was in town recently for a visit.  He is continuously astounded at the manner in which we parent Jack, often saying things like "I don't know where you get the energy" or just laughing incredulously at as we negotiate with Jack or calmly tell him not to do something 12 times in a row, instead of warning him twice and then giving him a spanking, as would have happened to me.

"It's a different era", I explained.  "When you were a child, kids were largely seen as extra farmhands.  When I was a child, kids were valued, but not seen as the center of the family life.  Today, kids are like fine rare treasures we revere and stop at nothing to give them every opportunity and advantage."  Raising a child today can be a full-time focus for as many adults as happen to be in the household at a given time.  We've been known to have three adults simultaneously focused on Jack's needs, learning environment and building happy memories.   Working parents feel guilty that they don't devote every minute to non-stop interaction with their children; at-home parents don't read the newspaper because that time will divert their focus.  The kid's have become the nuclear center of the family. 

My dad probably has a point, the pendulum of parental perspective may have swung too far. 

Last night Brian and I stopped in Target and Jack was whining for a slushy or something. .  Either of our parents would have said to us "absolutely not" and that would have been the end of it. I don't know why we find it so hard, almost impossible, to replicate that dynamic.  We ended up buying him a Gatorade, but we mussed about how spoiled he was.  I want the firm hand of parenthood, where what I say goes without complaint, but I also want the open, nurturing and supportive environment that encourages his growth and independence.  Am I being selfish if I want him to get out of the bath quickly because I'm tired, or is he acting spoiled for whining that he wants to stay in?   That's the line I find so hard to pinpoint.

Anyway, it something to consider.  And I do know this, the older the child gets the more impossible unlearning old behavior will be, so if this isn't the right balance, I better find it soon.