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Daughter Katie Texting

As the mother of 9-year-old and 13-year-old girls, issues about  technology, online and cell phone use are huge in my household.  The subject of kids and technology is a moving target.   All the technology and new media that engage our kids everyday, MY SPACE, IM, online communities and blogs can be intimidating for parents.  My husband and I are total "geeks," and despite our knowledge of the technology, we know it's a whole different ball game when it comes to parenting.

Two weeks ago, I wrote about a great book called TOTALLY WIRED.  One of the reasons this book caught my eye is because the author, Anastasia Goodstein, has a fresh outlook on the subject of parenting tweens, teens in the digital age.  A lot of the media "spin" I've read on this subject is from a fearful point-of-view.  I don't think that all the technology and new stuff is ALL bad.  I just think we parents have to educate ourselves and be aware of what the landscape is out there for our kids.  I realize that some of you might not agree with my opinion and I respect your point-of-view.  It's kind of an emotional issue and some of my friends have opinions that I've been surprised at.   

The author of TOTALLY WIRED, Anastasia Goodstein, talked to me last week about a variety of subjects.  She was awesome and I think she really has a healthy outlook on teens and tweens using technology.  I totally hogged her time and attention and I am breaking up my talk with Anastasia into two parts.  She has some good  points and tips for parents.   Here is the first part of my conversation and part two will be posted on Tuesday.


Question: What is the most important tip you can give parents about tween and teen technology use?

Anastasia:
The most important "tip" for parents of tweens and teens is to engage with your children around their technology use. They are growing up with the internet and cell phones and are living a big chunk of their lives digitally. So when you see them texting, IMing or MySpacing, remember, they are doing what kids and teens have always done (including you!), they're just doing it "totally wired." You don't have to be that tech savvy to do what parents do best -- set limits and be their guide. You don't have to be a computer programmer to help them determine which sites are appropriate to hang out on as well as which sites to use as sources for homework.

Question: When should you start talking to your kids about the internet?

Anastasia:
It's never too early to start talking to kids about the internet. 

Question: As a mom, it's hard to know where to begin with this subject.  I don't want to tell them information that will confuse them but I want to give the girls enough information to be aware of the potential dangers and implications of technology use.

Anastasia:
I talk to parents everyday in your situation.  Here are some general talking points to get started.

First and foremost:  The internet is a virtual public space. The "don't talk to strangers" rule applies here, too, with the added realization that people can easily pose as other people online. Adults can pose as children, and vice versa. Tell tweens never to post revealing personal information like their last name, physical address or phone number. I would advise caution around tweens posting photos as well. Most importantly, encourage them to talk to you if they are ever approached by someone who makes them feel uncomfortable or if they make a new friend who wants to meet in person. If the friend seems legit, call their parents and set up a time to meet as a group.

Question:  Do you recommended some general rules about communicating via text message or online?

Anastasia:
Just as you should be talking to tweens about offline bullying at this age, you need to teach them to treat each other respectfully online. Explain that people can be meaner when they can't see you. Tell them how photos, videos or the text of an IM can spread virally online. Most of all, it's important for parents to teach tweens when it's appropriate to talk face-to-face vs. digitally. For example, if you're child is "in a fight" with a friend online,it's time for them to talk face-to-face.


Part Two of my talk with Anastasia will be posted tommorrow.  I hope this information is as helpful for you as it was for me and my family.